Yet another motivation letter

Question

Hello!

I know there have been many similar requests, but still...Here I have my motivation letter for an excange for medical students. It is a clinical clerkship excange for one month.
I would appreciate any help I can get.

Thank you in advance!

birdy

Dear Sir or Madam,

I would like to apply for a clinical clerkship at your hospital during summer 2005. My area of interst is paediatrics, gynacology and infectious diseases. I prefer to work in peadiatrics if that is possible

My name is ------ and I come from -------. I am a 4th year medical student at Medical Faculty of -------. The clinical subjects that I listened to during the last four years were: physical examination of patients, infectious diseases, hygiene, social medicine, pharmacology, dermatology and venerology, neurology, psychiatry, internal medicine and surgery along with all the preclinical subjects.

In future I am considering to specialize in peadiatrics, although my decision is not yet final. The reason why I would like be a peadiatrician is because I enjoy working with children and last but not least the diversity of work itself.

Until now I have not had much experince in working with children, so this clerkship is a good oppurtunity for me to get the practical skills and of course the theoretical knowledge. Although I will be limited only to English, I can help with physical examination and maybe partially even with history taking. I expect to learn a lot from clinical staff at your hospital also being present at rounds and at different medical procedures.

As I have never been to Czech Republic before, therefore coming to your country would be a completely new experience for me on all levels. I would like not just to get familiar with medical education and health care systems, but also feel the atmosphere of working in a hospital at your country and of course get new acquaintances.

I really hope to be accepted for the clerkship and am looking forward to hearing from you.

With best regards,

----------

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Dear Sir or Madam, [find out the name]

I would like to apply for a clinical clerkship at your hospital during summer 2005. My area of inter[e]st [are] paediatrics, gyn[e]cology [and I am male] and infectious diseases [with my strongest preference for] pediatrics.

My name is ------ and I come from -------.[they will know that from your signature and address, no?] I am a [fourth] year medical student at Medical Faculty of ------- located on planet Mars. The clinical subjects that I listened [you listened to, that's all???] to during the last four years were [as follows]: physical examination of patients, infectious diseases, hygiene, social medicine, pharmacology, dermatology and venerology, neurology, psychiatry, internal medicine and surgery along with all the preclinical subjects.

In future I am [planning] to specialize in pediatrics. The reason why I would like be a pediatrician is because I enjoy working with children[that's sounds pretty weak to me.] [and last but not least the diversity of work itself. Do you know one area of medicine where there is no diversity? I don't.]

Until now I have not had much experience in working with children [But you REALLY enjoy working with children and that is why your preference is pediatrics, right?], so this clerkship is a good opportunity for me to get the practical skills and, of course, the theoretical knowledge. Although I will be limited only to English, I can help with physical examination and maybe partially even with history taking.[Is that of much use in Czech where most everyone speaks Czech?] I expect to learn a lot from clinical staff at your hospital also being present at rounds and at different medical procedures. [vacuous statement as it is obvious.]

As I have never been to Czech Republic before, [] coming to your country [will] be a completely new experience for me. I would like not just to get familiar with medical education and health care systems, but also feel the atmosphere of working in a hospital at your country and of course get new acquaintances. [poor paragraph, needs to be redone]

I really hope to be accepted for the clerkship and am looking forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

birdy

This dear sir or madam stuff is beginning to wear thin. If you can't be bothered to find out who the letter is going to, then likely they won't be bothered to seriously consider your application.

I found your letter poor. You don't speak to your strengths. You don't speak to your passions, other than you like kids but have no experience with them. I like sailing between continents too, though I have never been on a boat in the ocean. The benefits you state you will receive are obvious. You don't state what you are specifically wanting to learn or experience. And most importantly, you don't state what they will gain from having you for a month.

If I were at a hospital in Czech and received this letter, I would not even bother replying. You didn't appear to have put much effort into the letter. You want to come to my hospital and disturb my staff for a month. During that month, you won't have been here long enough to make any contributions. It takes a month just to learn everyone's name and where the washrooms are. Instead, you will just be a bother. Who needs the headaches?

I am being harsh with your letter because I don't think you gave this letter much thought. You are a fourth year medical student. Either you gave this letter zero consideration and placed the burden on me. In which case I am not very happy. Or, you are not really that bright and don't deserve to ever be someone's doctor. In which case I am fearful.

You see, your letter is your introduction. That is what they are going to judge you by. My judgement is not very flattering.

Multiple spelling errors were corrected throughout.

I think you need to kick it up several notches.

MountainHiker

Anonymous · Answer

0Dear sir,02br
02br
00Will please write me sample motivation letter for nursing?02br
02br
00Thank zou in advance02br
02br
00kamanashis0-

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