Anonymous Posted 15 years ago
Letter Writing
Would you please check this motivation letter for me please?
Mo’men Gamal Bishr
8 streets El Nabil
Omar Ibrahim
Ibrahimia,Alexandria
Egypt
May 3, 2011
UniversityofWalesinstitute
Cardiff,Wales
United Kingdom
To Whom It May Concern:
During the last three years, I've studied Business Management (major: marketing management) at the Arab academy for science, technology, and maritime transportation, Alexandria. I am writing to you to express my interest and motivation in applying for an internship at FFEEBB program atWalesUniversity. Having obtained the essentials information about the possibility of working abroad, I would very much appreciate being able to spend a few months in United Kingdom in London starting in June/July 2011.
The emphasis of my study understood the fundamental managerial theories and principles that govern modern day business. But I also learned about other diverse topics such as accounting, development economics, entrepreneurship, project management and strategic management. I found the last two topics, project management and strategic management, to be very interesting and exciting, because one of my career aspirations is to lead development projects with a strategic focus
I consider myself as a creative, flexible and trustworthy person. I have a high level of organizational skills as I certified with Influentional of communication mastery, body language and management crisis. Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure. Moreover, I passionately studied English and I have achieved conspicuous results. My ability to understand the English language, both spoken and written well, I can show by a certificate of IELTS which I successfully passed in June 2011.In addition to, that I went to turkey in order to teach English for high school students with international organization which is AIESEC.
Given my history of commitment to excellence, I am positive that I will bring high level of energy and enthusiasm to Erasmus Programmed. Because of my strong motivation, superior academic background, passion, and keen interest in other peoples and cultures, I am confident that I am a great candidate for an internship in United Kingdom, as it would allow me to further enhance my educational experience, learning about different cultures, and meeting new people which would help me develop a great career in the future.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Sincerely,
Mo’men Gamal Bishr
8 streets El Nabil
Omar Ibrahim
Ibrahimia,Alexandria
Egypt
May 3, 2011
UniversityofWalesinstitute
Cardiff,Wales
United Kingdom
To Whom It May Concern:
During the last three years, I've studied Business Management (major: marketing management) at the Arab academy for science, technology, and maritime transportation, Alexandria. I am writing to you to express my interest and motivation in applying for an internship at FFEEBB program atWalesUniversity. Having obtained the essentials information about the possibility of working abroad, I would very much appreciate being able to spend a few months in United Kingdom in London starting in June/July 2011.
The emphasis of my study understood the fundamental managerial theories and principles that govern modern day business. But I also learned about other diverse topics such as accounting, development economics, entrepreneurship, project management and strategic management. I found the last two topics, project management and strategic management, to be very interesting and exciting, because one of my career aspirations is to lead development projects with a strategic focus
I consider myself as a creative, flexible and trustworthy person. I have a high level of organizational skills as I certified with Influentional of communication mastery, body language and management crisis. Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure. Moreover, I passionately studied English and I have achieved conspicuous results. My ability to understand the English language, both spoken and written well, I can show by a certificate of IELTS which I successfully passed in June 2011.In addition to, that I went to turkey in order to teach English for high school students with international organization which is AIESEC.
Given my history of commitment to excellence, I am positive that I will bring high level of energy and enthusiasm to Erasmus Programmed. Because of my strong motivation, superior academic background, passion, and keen interest in other peoples and cultures, I am confident that I am a great candidate for an internship in United Kingdom, as it would allow me to further enhance my educational experience, learning about different cultures, and meeting new people which would help me develop a great career in the future.
Thank you for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.
Sincerely,
Mo’men Gamal Bishr
Top answer
Hello, Mo'mem; Your letter is not very strong. You need to be much more specific about your qualifications, and give more evidence to back up what you say. I have highlighted some places that need attention.
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Hello, Mo'mem;
Your letter is not very strong. You need to be much more specific about your qualifications, and give more evidence to back up what you say.
I have highlighted some places that need attention.
University of Wales institute
Cardiff, Wales
United Kingdom
To Whom It May Concern:
During the last three years, I've (Do not use contraction
Your letter is not very strong. You need to be much more specific about your qualifications, and give more evidence to back up what you say.
I have highlighted some places that need attention.
University of Wales institute
Cardiff, Wales
United Kingdom
To Whom It May Concern:
During the last three years, I've (Do not use contraction
00
You're in great hands with AlpheccaStars. I just have one additional comment to make:
Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure.
Nobody learns best under pressure. If I someone is hovering over your shoulder shouting at you, it's hard to learn. Yet, there's lots of pressure. Instead, it seems to imply that you don't lear
Furthermore I am also hardworking person in any given task and I learn best under pressure.
Nobody learns best under pressure. If I someone is hovering over your shoulder shouting at you, it's hard to learn. Yet, there's lots of pressure. Instead, it seems to imply that you don't lear
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