Anonymous Posted 18 years ago
Grammar
to include VS. including
0 Good day. 02 br
00 I am working on a brochure and my writer gave me some copy to use within it. Here it is. 02 br
02 br
00 " 00 Designed by Tom Polapink, this kit mirrors the beauty of the Albatross kits offered by Arizona Model Aircrafters. All scales, to include full scale kits, are available. Offered as an option with this kit is the 5 color camouflage fabric." 00 02 br
02 br
00 I feel this should read "Designed by Tom Polapink, this kit mirrors the beauty of the Albatross kits offered by Arizona Model Aircrafters. All scales, including full-scale kits, are available. Five-color camouflage fabric is offered as an option with this kit." 02 br
02 br
00 Can I assume my edits are correct or a bit more grammatically correct? 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you so much, Jason 0-
00 I am working on a brochure and my writer gave me some copy to use within it. Here it is. 02 br
02 br
00 " 00 Designed by Tom Polapink, this kit mirrors the beauty of the Albatross kits offered by Arizona Model Aircrafters. All scales, to include full scale kits, are available. Offered as an option with this kit is the 5 color camouflage fabric." 00 02 br
02 br
00 I feel this should read "Designed by Tom Polapink, this kit mirrors the beauty of the Albatross kits offered by Arizona Model Aircrafters. All scales, including full-scale kits, are available. Five-color camouflage fabric is offered as an option with this kit." 02 br
02 br
00 Can I assume my edits are correct or a bit more grammatically correct? 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you so much, Jason 0-
Top answer
0-
Get the Weekly English Kit 📬
New words, one handy idiom, and a 2-minute quiz — delivered to your inbox to keep your streak alive.
0
0 Your edits are not only grammatically correct, but they also improve the readability of the copy. 0-
00
0 I guess, I should have asked what would be the proper english for the sentence. What is the proper english for the sentence? 02 br
02 br
00 I want to make sure that everything is proper. 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you so much. 0-
02 br
00 I want to make sure that everything is proper. 02 br
02 br
00 Thank you so much. 0-
00
0 In the original, the "to include" could be interpretted as "it's not realy yet, but eventually it will include this too," although there's nothing incorrect about it. Your change is grammatical and better. 02 br
02 br
00 In the original, "5 color" should at least be "5-color" and is improved by "five-color" from a style standpoint. Changing the order made it easier to read. 0-
02 br
00 In the original, "5 color" should at least be "5-color" and is improved by "five-color" from a style standpoint. Changing the order made it easier to read. 0-
00
New to this site, and a stickler for spelling, I must point out the typo in the word "realy." I point this out because I would prefer to know and fix it. I would have done this privately, if I knew how. Please delete this. Your answer was helpful to me even though I got distracted by the typo.
0