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Pieter Posted 23 years ago

The last for today ( the same question)

First poem
( to M.S.'s photo)


Poetry’s a game.
Films are a game.
Theatre’s a game.
Christ staring in a camera.
Everything’s a game.
The nails. Toy Irod. Toy cross.
Toy redemption. Toy afterlife.
Toy life.
  

Top answer

you are a game.

— Maj

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15 Answers

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you are a game.
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Yeah. Toy redemption, afterlife, life. Does it sound good?
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I like the idea behind it. I think you could spice it up a little, though.
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Peter, I definitely prefer your second choice. I agree with her, maybe add something to it and sth to make the last line stronger.
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The photo I was inspired by showed a funny Christ (folk art) looking straight into the camera.
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I´d have preferred

to life
toy redemption, toy after life.

I like this sequence better. Sorry. Christian concept. You see.
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I think you could just play with the words a little more. Calling everything "toy" this and "toy" that gets a little dull. I mean, you could make an argument that repeating the word like that drives it home... but I don't really think it does in this case. You need to describe the scene a little more first so that there's something to drive home in the first place. Do you get what I'm saying, or
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You have made quite a point there.
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I could use this one just the way it is right now in class.
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With teenage and adult students I sincerely reccomend Roger Waters' lyrics. He's post-post modern, and listening to a song, then discussing the lyrics can be interesting to them.
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