Anonymous Posted 14 years ago
Assuming that all elements of the sentence below need to be retained, is it structured correctly?
"In that time they had, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, managed a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
Do the modifications below improve the sentence above? Are they correct? Is one better than the other?
1) "In that time they had managed, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
2) "In that time, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, they had managed a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
Other suggestions are also welcome. I'm looking for ways to make this sentence grammatically correct without changing too much.
Also, is an infinitive such as "to get" or "to secure" needed between "managed" and "a good grip"? Is "managed" being utilized correctly here?
Thank you so much for your help.
Grammar
Syntax confusion
Assuming that all elements of the sentence below need to be retained, is it structured correctly?
"In that time they had, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, managed a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
Do the modifications below improve the sentence above? Are they correct? Is one better than the other?
1) "In that time they had managed, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
2) "In that time, with ruthless and shrewd maneuvering, they had managed a good grip on the entire international shipping business."
Other suggestions are also welcome. I'm looking for ways to make this sentence grammatically correct without changing too much.
Also, is an infinitive such as "to get" or "to secure" needed between "managed" and "a good grip"? Is "managed" being utilized correctly here?
Thank you so much for your help.
Top answer
Anonymous is an infinitive such as "to get" or "to secure" needed between "managed" and "a good grip"? Yes. 'to secure' is fine for your sentence.
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Anonymousis an infinitive such as "to get" or "to secure" needed between "managed" and "a good grip"?Yes. 'to secure' is fine for your sentence.
Both 1) and 2) are improvements over the original. I'd go with 1) (with 'to secure' just before 'a good grip').
CJ
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Thanks very much for your assistance. If I could, I would simplify the sentence. But according to my instructions, it should not deviate from the original too much. I appreciate the help you provided while taking into regard the specifications I had mentioned. Very best.
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The original sentence is best. It's perfectly fine in every way. It's not the easiest sentence to read, but that fits with the subject matter (they, shrewd and ruthless, were not easy to deal with) and should not be changed. The sentence was deliberately written this way.
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