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Anonymous Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Sentence check

can someone help rephrase my sentence please? if it is okay, then comment if you will. i need some criticism =]

"Art in the Renaissance was, in my opinion, finding their inner selves while taking in religious concepts and being the first era to actually get more profundity in to it. "
  

Top answer

Hi, " Art in the Renaissance was, in my opinion, finding their inner selves while taking in religious concepts and being the first era to actually get more profundity in to it. " You need to revise this sentence a lot. You might even break it into shorter sentences, with clear subjects.

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1 Answers
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Hi,

"Art in the Renaissance was, in my opinion, finding their inner selves while taking in religious concepts and being the first era to actually get more profundity in to it. "

You need to revise this sentence a lot. You might even break it into shorter sentences, with clear subjects. Here are a few comments.

Who do you mean by 'their'? You