I'm writing the personal statement of my resume and I wonder If someone can help me with the following:
1 POSSIBILITY Graduate with an outstanding academic background including the Erasmus Scholarship won during the Bachelor of Arts in ... and the Dissertation Fieldwork Grant awarded to the SchooL of .... for her Master’s dissertation research: TITLE, considered by the graduate commission worthy of honorable mention.
2 POSSIBILITY Graduate with an outstanding academic background including the Erasmus Scholarship won during the Bachelor of Arts in ... and a Master of Arts in .... , enriched by a Dissertation Fieldwork Grant for her dissertation research ‘TITLE’, considered by the commission worthy of honorable mention.
Which of the two possibilities sound better? Should I write about the publication like in the following sentence?
Her M.A has been enriched by the publication of her dissertation and linguistic interviews conducted in San Diego, improving her ability to collect and interpret linguistic data.
Is the phrase 'Her M.A has been enriched by the publication' redundant? Should I avoid it and rephrase the information about the interviews in Possibility 1 or 2? If yes, how?
I'm reading and rereading it and now I am not able to focus anymore.
Thank you
Top answer
I just have time of a couple of quick, high-level comments. Forgive me, but in my opinion you need to review the purpose of a personal statement and how to write one. There is a lot of info available online.
— Clive
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