PLs Check grammer my Letter of Motivation for CFVG MBA course.
Hi all. By chance, I know about this forum I see that all members are kind to help. So, pls help me check grammer in my letter of motivation for CFVG MBA course.
Here my letter.
xxx
LETTER OF MOTIVATION
I am writing to you in connection with your MBA Programm starting October 2013, for which I would like to apply.
I graduated with a Bachelor degree in Management Information System from Thang Long University, Ha Noi City, Viet Nam in 2009. Since my goal is to become a leadership member of a leading finalcial institution and to deal with the issues connected to Business Aministration, I am going to continue my education towards the Master’s Degree.
After working for two years, I am now an officer of Sales & Distributions Improvement Department of VPBank, one of the five leading retail commercial joint-stock banks in Vietnam. My responsibilities is focused on all measures that improve the volume of Sales and Distributions(S&D) including KPIs(Key Performance Index) adjustment, Sale Incentives operating, and a Phased Implementation in the of areas : Organization, People, Competitions and Processes. I gained experience with regard to the issues how to interact with different people and different personalities. I was able to learn creative organizational skills by handling a new project.
In the next two or three years, I will keep working on financial and banking enterprise to have more experience in financial analyzing. After graduate from CFVG I will apply to one foreign company in Viet Nam and started to learn how to run a company, what's needed for running business, what to do as a management. After 3-5 years, I will start my own business. I really interested in "energy saving technology" so I may start with some sort like that. Subsequently, my career is going to continue along another challenging path.
To further my career aspirations of becoming CEO, I have realized, I must learn and study further, by obtaining a master's degree in CFVG. This additional knowledge will allow me to extend my management skills. I believe that good manager must have a solid understanding, supported by a strong academic background. CFVG will provide the necessary background to enable me to anticipate and react to ever-changing environments.The knowlegde of CFVC will enable me to develop in my profession and to cope with the diverse and changing environments.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you
Sincerely yours, Ha Noi, May 14, 2013.
xxx
Top answer
I am writing to you in connection with your MBA Program starting in October 2013 for which I would like to apply. I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Management Information System from Thang Long University, Hanoi City, Viet Nam in 2009. Since my goal is to become a leadership member of a leading financial institution and to deal with issues connected to business administration, I am going to continue my education with a Master’s degree.
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I am writing to you in connection with your MBA Program starting in October 2013 for which I would like to apply.
I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Management Information System from Thang Long University, Hanoi City, Viet Nam in 2009. Since my goal is to become a leadership member of a leading financial institution and to deal with issues connected to business administration, I am