My Japanese friend wrote this song (14 lines) in Japanese and translated in English as given below. She wants me to make changes in it. Please help me.
SUNNY
1 Lalalala lalalala... 2 I sing this song for you 3 Lalalala lalalaa... 4 So please take me to the hill.
5 I had sad things today so I want to see your smile 6 Because I'll be happy at once 7 I had bad things today so I want to hear your voice 8 Won't you listen to my selfishness. <-------/what should I write here instead of selfishness?/
9 Today is a very sunny day. 10 You should go out. 11 In the world always happen bad things <-------/suggest me something of same meaning as bad things?/ 12 So shall we have a good time? 13 Let's go to the hill dear! 14 I want to ride behind you!!! <-------/ride on bike/
I think from line 9 to line line 14, it needs many changes. What do you suggest? Please make changes anywhere in this song to make it better. Personally I feel the song was very good in Japanese but it is not giving the same impression in English. Thanks.
Top answer
Please correct this poem.... I have posted it few days ago, no reply :-( Please......
— Anonymous
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AnonymousMy Japanese friend wrote this song (14 lines) in Japanese and translated in English as given below. She wants me to make changes in it. Please help me.
SUNNY
1 Lalalala lalalala... 2 I sing this song for you 3 Lalalala lalalaa... 4 So please take me to the hill.