Please review my IELTS essay

Topic: Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest?

My task:

It is true that in the present day, an inactive way of life is gaining momentum in spite of an eclectic mix of gymnasia. Although there will undoubtedly be some negative consequences of this trend, people can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.

It is possibly said that this issue may lead to several complications. The main one is that people will have health-related problems. People who are desk-bound are more likely to be victimized by mental illness than those who do blue-collar work. For instance, sitting all day in front of computers may result in loss of memory, which is very serious as when the get older, they may have senile dementia. Besides, teenagers having an inactive way of life can have obesity. According to a research by a group of scientists in Oxford University, roughly 80 percent of youngsters nowadays are having a sedentary lifestyle, and nearly all of them show signs of becoming obese.

In truth, some imperative measures should be taken to tackle these prospective issues. First, people should develop a multidimensional perspective of their welfare by reading health articles. Besides, government also plays a role in this situation by encouraging people to do more exercise. In addition, government ought to introduce more physical education periods into school's curricula, thereby improving student's well-being.

In conclusion, the major problem of this trend is that it could to some serious health disease that can have a debilitating effect on people's life nowadays as well as in the future. However it can be alleviated by edifying people about the upcoming threats of being inactive