Some of my grammers is incorrect, If you don't bother it, please check my errors in my essay.
My name is HyunJeong Yi, and I was born in February, 1986, Seoul. There are four of us in my family, my father, my mother, my twin brother and me. The daughter of an army officer, I had a somewhat nomadic childhood. With my bright and exuberant personality and good personal relationships, I adjusted and adapted very easily to new school and various environment.
I relish to get a thrill out of really testing situations. One of my hobbies is taking xxx test irregularly. Even there's no need to take a high score in exam, I just took it for fun which got a thrill to take a good grade after studying hard. Five years ago, I just took xxx in Vancouver, Canada, and got quite high score, 96. When I was a senior in my university, I wanted to challege the xxx,another test of xxx, and got over 850 in xxx in 2009. Finally, I decided to take xxx just one month ago. Even though my grade for the xxx was not so good, I am not afraid or shame of it. Because I never stop studying xxx until I got a good enough grade.
Top answer
Hi HyunJeong Yi, I corrected some mistakes in your essay and also rewrote some parts to make it sound clearer, as seen below: My name is HyunJeong Yi, and I was born in February, 1986, in Seoul, South Korea. There are four of us in my family; my father, my mother, my twin brother, and me. As the daughter of an army officer, I had a somewhat nomadic childhood.
— Shi Aina
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I corrected some mistakes in your essay and also rewrote some parts to make it sound clearer, as seen below:
My name is HyunJeong Yi, and I was born in February, 1986, in Seoul, South Korea. There are four of us in my family; my father, my mother, my twin brother, and me. As the daughter of an army officer, I had a somewhat nomadic childhood. With my bright, exub