please could you correct my motivation letter

Question

dear collugues, could you please correct my motivation letter, I need to send it in responce of job opportunity advirtised in Newspaper. thank you forward.

the letter is as follow

Dear Sir or Madam,

Since many time, I have been dreaming to work in your company (Hallibertom company), to practice my background that i learnt from my University as Engineer of Energitic and Fluid Mechanical followed by a Master of Fluid Mechanical from a same University. A subject of research that I treated for my master is «Enhanced oil recovery using a microemulsion/polymer flooding ». I choose this subject myself because I was my favourate subject and field since my childhood and enfance and this field of study and work still interesting and attracting me to.

From my reading of local Newspaper (El Watan) of 5th, Mai 2006, fortunatly I found your Job opportuenity advertisment, for drilling Engineer. Even the position is bit diffirente from mine, but I can assure you that I am a good learner, and motivated and I have a good level in english, which I can improved it easily by working in your company.

I have a good team work sperit that I gain from a differente job position that I did as a part time or full time, and in each position, I add a lot of success and I have also a good ability to work to anywhere.

A waiting for your esteemed interview appointement, please accept my deep regards and respect, and please feel free to contact me by e-mail or selfmobile number for further information.

Yours very faithfully.

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

Hi,

First you need to run it through a spell check or get your dictionary out as it is full of spelling errors. Fix those and we'll help with the rest.

Musse · Answer

hello

thak you for your reply, I did what you wrote me, I tried to correct it, and bellow please find the corrected letter, i did my best but i am waiting for your suggestions.

Dear Sir or Madam,

Since many time, I have been dreaming to work in your company (Halliburton company), to practice my background that i learnt from my University as Engineer of Energetic and Fluid Mechanical followed by a Master of Fluid Mechanical from a same University. A subject of research that I treated for my master is «Enhanced oil recovery using a microemulsion/polymer flooding ». I chose this subject myself because I was my favorite subject and field since my childhood and enfance and this Field of study and work still interesting and attracting me to.

From my reading of local Newspaper (xxxxx) of 5th, Mai 2006, fortunately I found your advertised Job opportunity, for drilling Engineer. Even the position is bit different from mine, but I can assure you that I am a good learner, and motivated and I have a good level in English, which I can improve it easily by working in your company.

I have a good team work spirit that I gain from a different job position that I did as a part time or full time, and in each position, I add a lot of success and I have also a good ability to work anywhere.

A waiting for your esteemed interview appointement, please accept my deep regards and respect, and please feel free to contact me by e-mail or self mobile number for further information.

Yours very faithfully.

Nona the brit · Answer

That's a bit better!

I've fiddled with the order of the letter as this is just an accompaniment to your resume or CV (I hope) and you need to get to the point more quickly.

I saw your advertisment for Drilling Engineer in the ***on 5 May 2006 and am writing to apply.

I have attached my resume/CV. You can see that I graduated from X University as an Engineer of Energetic and Fluid Mechanical (this title doesn't quite make sense, do you mean Mechanics?) followed with a Masters in Fluid Mechanical (again does not quite make sense) from the same University. My Masters research was on enhanced oil recovery using a microemulsion/polymer flooding and I still find this field very interesting.

I have been dreaming of an opportunity to work in your company and hope that you will be kind enough to grant me an interview. I am a good learner, highly motivated and I have a good level of proficiency in English, which I can improve even further when working in your company.

I have a good team work spirit that I have gained from my previous positions, and in each company I have worked for, I have contributed a lot.

Yours faithfully.

Musse · Answer

thank you

a lot, now my letter seems to look more better, yes my Cv will be attecherd to the letter. my fiel of study is Fluid Mechanics in stead of Mechanical.

with your modifications , my letter is as follow:

Dear Sir or Madam,

I saw your advertisment for Drilling Engineer in the ***on 5 May 2006 and am writing to apply.

I have attached my resume/CV. You can see that I graduated from X University as an Engineer of Energetic and Fluid Mechanics followed with a Masters in Fluid Mechanis from the same University. My Masters research was on enhanced oil recovery using a microemulsion/polymer flooding and I still find this field very interesting.

I have been dreaming of an opportunity to work in your company and hope that you will be kind enough to grant me an interview. I am a good learner, highly motivated and I have a good level of proficiency in English, which I can improve even further when working in your company.

I have a good team work spirit that I have gained from my previous positions, and in each company I have worked for, I have contributed a lot.

Yours faithfully.

Nona the brit · Answer

Looks good, the second 'Mechanics' is missing its c at the end.

Musse · Answer

hello Mr.

Thank you for your help, if you have further suggestions, please inform me about

yours

Musse · Answer

Hello every body, could someone help me with my Cv, I would like to send it as soon as possible to a petroleum company. thank you forward for your esteemed help.

yours

(personal information removed by mod - not wise to post this on a public forum)

Employment

2006 –5 month University of Sciences and Technology, *** –***

· · Professor assistant of Physics module (SEP 200)

2006 – 1 month Primary School – town, City

· · Teacher of French language. First and second class.

2006 – 1 month Export-import shop of constructions materials,

Address
Cash clerk

· · user of commercial software

· · Management of the shop

· · Substitute the Shop Manager during his business trip

in China

2006 Training private school,

Address
Teacher of Informatics

· · Training on the use of a commercial software

· · Training on Windows Xp, Word, Excel, Internet explorer

2006 – 1 month Cybercafé, Address
Cash Clerk

· · User of a Cybercafé management software

2003 – 2004 Development and research center,

Exploration Département, Address
Research training

· · Optimization and characterization of anionic surfactant for Obtaining a microemulsion phase

· · Displacement efficiency of the optimized microemulsion

Followed by polymer slug for enhanced oio recovery in TinFouyé oil field

· · Very satisfactory experiment results

2001 – 8 month Export-import shop of constructions materials,

Hamiz – Dar El Beida – Alger
Cash Clerk

· · A head of the Importation part of the shop

EDUCATION

Sinc 2006 University of Sciences and Technology, Address Registered for a PhD Diploma, On Energetic and Fluid Mechanical

2002-2005 Université des Sciences et de ,

Master of Physics, Option Energetic and Fluid Mechanical

Thesis, Complex fluid flow in porous media, Application for enhanced oil recovery

1995-2001 University of Sciences and Technology,

Higher Studies Diploma of Physics, Option Energetic and Fluid Mechanical, Faculty of Physics

1994 Secondary School of (name), address

Baccalaureate of Exact Sciences.

Paper and communication

June 2006 International Petroleum Conference, 57th Annual Technical Meeting of the Petroleum Society.

Paper Title :

Comparison between Micro-Emulsion and Surfactant Solution Flooding Efficiency for Enhanced Oil Recovery in Tin Fouye Oil Field

Marsh 2006 3^rd International Symposium of Hydrocarbon and Chemical, Ghardaia

Communication Title:

Injection de microémulsion suivie d’injection de polymère dans un milieu poreux pour l’amélioration de la récupération de l’huile résiduelle

Decem. 2005 2^nd International meeting of Rheology,

Ghardaia

Communication Title :

Injection de microémulsion suivie d’injection de polymère dans un milieu poreux pour l’amélioration de la récupération de l’huile résiduelle

Novembre 30th days of study GFHN, Porous medium and waterquality

2006 Tunis,
Titre de l’article

Nouveau procédés d’injection de tensioactif pour l’amélioration de

Récupération de huile résiduelle dans un milieu poreux

LANGUAGES

Arabic : Perfect fluency in Arabic (mother tongue)

Français : Excellent spoken, written and oral comprehension of French

English : A good spoken, written and oral comprehension of English, Advanced level

CONNAISSANCES INFORMATIQUES

Word - Excel - Access - Daily use of Internet, Power Point - Paint

INTERETS

- Football, Reading, Table Tennis, Chess game,Voyages - Swimming

Nona the brit · Answer

Hello, you need to finish translating from French first?

Musse · Answer

hello again

,

i am sorry for the mistackes, please, could you correct it again for my Cv, my Cv is as follow

thank you forward

(personal information, Name, address)

Employment

2006 –5 month University of Sciences and Technology, *** –***

· · Professor assistant of Physics module (SEP 200)

2006 – 1 month Primary School – town, City

· · Teacher of French language. First and second class.

2006 – 1 month Export-import shop of constructions materials, Address
Cash clerk

· · user of commercial software

· · Management of the shop

· · Substitute the Shop Manager during his business trip

in China

2006 Training private school, Address

Teacher of Informatics

· · Training on the use of a commercial software

· · Training on Windows Xp, Word, Excel, Internet explorer

2006 – 1 month Cybercafé, Address
Cash Clerk

· · User of a Cybercafé management software

2003 – 2004 Development and research center , Exploration Département, Address

Research training

· · Optimization and characterization of anionic surfactant for Obtaining a microemulsion phase

· · Displacement efficiency of the optimized microemulsion

Followed by polymer slug for enhanced oio recovery in TinFouyé oil field

· · Very satisfactory experiment results

2001 – 8 month Export-import shop of constructions materials,

Hamiz – Dar El Beida – Alger
Cash Clerk

· · A head of the Importation part of the shop

EDUCATION

Sinc 2006 University of Sciences and Technology, Address Registered for a PhD Diploma, On Energetic and Fluid Mechanical

2002-2005 University of Sciences and Technology ,

Master of Physics, Option Energetic and Fluid Mechanical

Thesis, Complex fluid flow in porous media, Application for enhanced oil recovery

1995-2001 University of Sciences and Technology,

Higher Studies Diploma of Physics, Option Energetic and Fluid Mechanical, Faculty of Physics

1994 Secondary School of (name), address

Baccalaureate of Exact Sciences.

Paper and communication

June 2006 International Petroleum Conference, 57th Annual Technical Meeting of the Petroleum Society. Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Paper Title :

Comparison between Micro-Emulsion and Surfactant Solution Flooding Efficiency for Enhanced Oil Recovery in Tin Fouye Oil Field

Marsh 2006 3^rd International Symposium of Hydrocarbon and Chemical, Ghardaia

Communication Title:

« The title …… »

Decem. 2005 2^nd International meeting of Rheology, Ghardaia

Communication Title :

« the title …… »

Novembre 2006 30th days of study GFHN, Porous medium and waterquality Tunis,
Titre de l’article

« the title …… »

LANGUAGES

Arabic : Perfect fluency in Arabic (mother tongue)

Français : Excellent spoken, written and oral comprehension of French

English : A good spoken, written and oral comprehension of English, Advanced level

INFORMATICS’ KNOWLEDGE:

Word - Excel - Access - Daily use of Internet, Power Point - Paint

INTERETS

- Football, Reading, Table Tennis, Chess game, travel- Swimming

Santrac · Answer

Hello Musse,

Just wondering if you had any success with your CV? If you need any help, please let me know.

Rade Santrac
Resume and CV Writer

please could you correct my motivation letter

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