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Fairypp Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Please correct a sentence of my personal statement for apply graduate school. Thank you!

My decision to follow in this path, however, has its roots in my pre-teen days of suggesting my grandfather, a PE teacher and school sports organizer, to exchange a privilege of selling on competition site for expensive trophies, for the school couldn't afford the trophies. This was a success. To guaranteed the smooth progress of the game. And sponsors, students and teachers are all happy for they got what they want. I then realized how much happiness can be brought by better marketing of sports events.

"To guaranteed the smooth progress of the game." I feel a bit awkward in this sentence...
  

Top answer

Hello, fairy - and welcome to English Forums. - - That is not the only problem you have. My decision to follow this path, however, has its roots in my pre-teen days .

— Mister Micawber

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4 Answers
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Hello, fairy - and welcome to English Forums.

"To guaranteed the smooth progress of the game." I feel a bit awkward in this sentence...-- That is not the only problem you have.

My decision to follow this path, however, has its roots in my pre-teen days. My grandfather, a PE teacher and school sports organizer, suggested that the school award the p
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Thank you carefully and kindly reply!
Would you like help me revise the other parts of my essay?
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but I want to express it was me not anyone else gave my grandfather the suggestionEmotion: smile
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I suggested to my grandfather, a PE teacher and school sports organizer, that the school award the privilege...
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