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Question

Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan an exercise for whole team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament. The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match in "Final Championship". We all did the best as usual, however, our opponents, I had to say they were definitely the best team in this championship. Until the expiration of first half, the score was 34-42; we were the "34". Everyone lost his spirits, thought we would lost this game. Give up? No, these words never show in my dictionary. I knew I should do something to break the ice. In the restroom, I turned on the Apple IPod, played a similar song. Additionally, the coach projected a new triangle-offence to break their zone defense. "Cheer up, win the game!" I shouted, and we hugged together. Confidence was such a matter of vital importance for a match, and as a result the game was back in our hand. The ending was 69-63, we won; all the members and coach thanked to me to get their confidence back.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

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I have underlined some problem areas:

Nowadays, I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Topping athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym; help the coach plan an exercise for whole team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament. The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match in "Final Championship". We all did the best as usual, however, our opponents, I had to say they were definitely the best team in this championship. Until the expiration of first half, the score was 34-42; we were the "34". Everyone lost his spirits, thought we would lost this game. Give up? No, these words never show in my dictionary. I knew I should do something to break the ice. In the restroom, I turned on the Apple IPod, played a similar song. Additionally, the coach projected a new triangle-offence to break their zone defense. "Cheer up, win the game!" I shouted, and we hugged together. Confidence was such a matter of vital importance for a match, and as a result the game was back in our hand. The ending was 69-63, we won; all the members and coach thanked to me to get their confidence back.

Overall, nicely presented.
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116687 · Answer

thanks for your response! but could you tell me how to correct these mistakes? Because I can not rewrite some of them.

Mister Micawber · Answer

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Please give it a try and thus demonstrate your effort to learn.
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116687 · Answer

Much better?

I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Excellent athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym and help the coach exercise the team. We do our best in each game, as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournament. The playground leaves me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match--"Final Championship". We all did the best as usual; however, our opponents were definitely the best team in this championship. Till the expiration of first half, the score was 34-42; we were the "34". Everyone lost his spirit, and thought we would lose this game. Give up? No, these words never appear in my dictionary. I knew I should do something to break the ice. In the restroom, I turned on the Apple, played a familiar song. Additionally, the coach projected a new triangle-offence to break their zone defense. "Cheer up, win the game!" I shouted, and we hugged together. Confidence was a matter of vital importance for matches, and as a result the game was back in our hand. The score was 69-63 at the end, we won; all the members and coach thanked me for getting their confidence back.

Mister Micawber · Answer

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Good try-- you fixed some of them. I have fixed the rest and a couple more. ('Break the ice' is the wrong idiom):

I am the captain of my school’s basketball team. Excellent athletic skills are not enough for a leader. Every day, I am the first person to the gym and help the coach exercise the team. We do our best in each game, and as a result, we win most matches in school and inter-school tournaments. The playing field has left me numerous memorable moments, especially the last match in the final championship. We all did our best as usual; however, our opponents were definitely the best team in this championship. At the expiration of the first half, the score was 34-42, and we had the 34. Everyone lost spirit and thought we would lose this game. Give up? No, these words never appear in my dictionary. I knew I should do something to re-inspire them. In the restroom, I turned on my Apple iPod and played a familiar song. Additionally, the coach proposed a new triangle-offense to break their zone defense. "Cheer up, win the game!" I shouted, and we hugged each other. Confidence was a matter of vital importance for the match, and as a result the game was back under control. The final score was 69-63. We won! All the members and coach thanked me for getting their confidence back.
.

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