One paragraph correction

Question

"According to the up-to-date surveys, the results seem to indisputable. It has been thus discovered that increasing number of young people turn to friends first for advice. Besides this, it is also generally believed that the youth prefer to break up with parents in the earliest time possible, not to mention their dogged determination to make their own decisions. In contrast to the points mentioned above, it would be unreasonable to state that family relationships are less important than friendships."

Are there any mistakes?

Thanks in advance.

Dave_anon · Accepted Answer

Hi

I would add or change a few small words...

- ...the results seem to be indisputable...

-...discovered that an increasing number...

-...to break up with parents at the earliest time possible...

Your last sentence is good, but you might want to think about it again - it's up to you. (It really depends on what your next paragraph is going to say.) If it was me, I might have...

- Despite the facts above, most people would agree that family relationships are as important as friendships.

Dave

Marold · Answer

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One paragraph correction

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