Not Sure About a Sentence

Question

This sentence is the career objective line from my resume. Please let me know if it is a valid sentence. If not, please try to make changes that doesn't result in a longer sentence.

Seeking entry level actuarial position with a high career growth potential firm and achieve fellowship status timely.

Thanks in advance.

Mister Micawber · Accepted Answer

Seeking entry level actuarial position with high career growth potential and timely fellowship status attainment.

Waterloser · Answer

Hey Minster Micawber,

I think maybe I should explain the objective line a bit more.

Basically what I am trying to say is:
I am seeking an entry level actuarial position with high career growth potential and I want to achieve (on my own) fellowship status (with the American Academy of Actuaries) in a timely fashion.

Timely achieving fellowship status has nothing to do with where I work. It is more of a quality that employers are looking for. In general they want to hire somebody who can achieve fellowship status fast.

I believe your sentence implies that I am seeking timely fellowship status attainment. Timely fellowship status attainment is not really something that we seek, it is more of a professional progression that requires a lot of hard work from self.

Thanks for your help.

Mister Micawber · Answer

I see. You're right. It is difficult, then, to put it all into the same sentence without ambiguity. Something like this, perhaps:

Seeking entry level actuarial position with high career growth potential and opportunity to achieve AAA fellowship status in a timely manner.

Waterloser · Answer

Hey that sounds really good. There is nothing wrong with 'seeking the opportunity to achieve...' since I do need supports from company to achieve the fellowship.

Thanks a bunch!

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