need feedback.. pls everybody check my letter

0pls tell me what u think about the letter02br
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00People's ideas about careers change and develop over time. Please indicate how you have come to choose a career in business /02br
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00above mentioned function(s). Tell us about your experiences and people that have been influential.02br
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00When considering a career path and hence a business function in particular the right choice is the one that complies with my personal ambitions and my personal traits. My experiences showed me that if people are to achieve outstanding ends in their careers and their personal lifes they should be passionate about the thing they do. 02br
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00Besides devotion, I know my strengths and weaknesses. The internship during the winter break of 2005 at B....i Roma’s Treasury and Back-office departments gave me the opportunity to fully realise my strengths. Since the bank’s operations in ... were limited to only investment banking the Back-office department was operating as a sales and marketing department along with it’s some other functions. There I had the chance to experience the distinction between marketing and finance. I found out that marketing is more about creativity and lets people to contribute more to the job they are doing; while finance is devolving around rules set beforehand and does not allow enough space for employees’ creativity to step forward . Assessing my strengths I have come to decide the marketing is the right choice. Since I have a strong interest in the business world, curious about the way consumers behave. I am also enthusiastic about the learning and professional growth opportunities a dynamic business function like marketing can provide.02br
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00For me the thing about marketing is pushing our innovative skills to their utmost limits to distinguish ourselves from the rest of the market and stand out alone in a highly competitive marketplace. Whether it be creating a new brand or developing and presenting an existing brand so to make it memorable for everyone and this is my passion.0-