Need assistance with a project letter please

Hello everyone,

I wrote a "project letter" to apply for a famous college in England. I was hoping to get some offline help from some people *** I beg you please MountainHiker *** to know what they think of my letter. I know this goes against the rules mentionned above but unfortunately, I cannot remove the personal information of my letter without it becoming a total non-sense and you will understand I do not want too much personal information posted here.

Anyway, I will gladly post some paragraphs with the associated comments from the kind people who would agree to help me so that everyone may have a use of it but if I could get someone to review the whole letter privately first, this would be very kind.

I am not sure if anyone can get my email so here goes: @hotmail.com

I have read many of your comments on other threads MoutainHiker and I would be most thankful if you would accept to exceptionally review my whole letter privately. Some help from anyone else would also be much appreciated.

Best regards.

P.S: I apologize for the poor English as I am not a native speaker.