Motivation letter to an university please help its urgent !!!!!!

Question

0Can somebody please help me with my motivation letter. I have also a deadline I have to finish it before monday.My english is not that good and this is my first time that I am writing one. I have the following:02br02br00Dear Sir / Madam,02br02br02br00I am writing to apply for the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS. 02br02br02br02br00My parents have a Moroccan background. I was born in Amsterdam. Working in the hospitality industry for several years gave me the chance to interact with different people around the world.It has giving me the insigt that different people have different needs.Travelling has taught me to be very openminded and that every country has his own way of conducting business. This is also the reason why I got very interested in international management. When I started travelling I already had begun my Bachlor Degree in Business Administration. My passion for travelling and business has led me to the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS. 02br02br00 02br02br00The Netherlands has always been a country that has opened her borders to different nationalities and cultures. The Netherlands is a nation of business people. We are a very popular destination for multinational companies. The Dutch culture I grew up in has given me that kind of enterpreneurial thinking. 02br02br00 02br02br00If we look around us we see that borders are fading, everything is conducted globally. Companies do not constrain their ambitions only till the border they go where there ambition leads them. How do we cope with globalization? This is also why International Management would be interesting to study. 02br02br00I want to study International Management at Erasmus University because I like to be challenged. It is a programme only open to a selective group of students. The chance to meet people from all over the world gives you a valuable advantage to learn more about different cultures. The compulsory internship is very useful in turning your theoretical knowledge into practice.02br02br00 02br02br00At the moment I am in my third year of the Bachlor in Business Administration. It has given me a good base to start the Master Degree programme in International Management. All the books, exams, colleges where in English.02br02br00Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.02br02br00 02br02br00Kind regards,0-

Nona the brit · Accepted Answer

0I've made a few amendments in bold and highlighted your spelling mistakes. I would expand it a little - you need to discuss your future career interests and aspirations and how this qualification will help you achieve them.02br
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00I am writing to apply for the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS. 02br
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00My parents have a Moroccan background 01b00and 02b00I was born in Amsterdam. Working in the hospitality industry for several years gave me the chance to interact with different people around the world.It has giving me the 00insigt00 that different people have different needs.Travelling has taught me to be very openminded and that every country has his own way of conducting business. This is 01del~~01b00also02b02del~~00 the reason 01del~~01b00why02b02del~~00 I got very interested in international management. When I started travelling I already had begun my 00Bachlor00 Degree in Business Administration. My passion for travelling and business has led me to the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS. 02br
02br
00The Netherlands has always been a country that has opened her borders to different nationalities and cultures. The Netherlands is a nation of business people. We are a very popular destination for multinational companies. The Dutch culture I grew up in has given me that kind of enterpreneurial thinking. 02br
02br
00If we look around us we see that borders are fading, everything is conducted globally. Companies do not constrain their ambitions only till the border01b00:02b00 they go where 00there00 ambition leads them. How do we cope with globalization? This is also why International Management would be interesting to study. 02br
02br
00I want to study International Management at Erasmus University because I like to be challenged. It is a programme only open to a selective group of students. The chance to meet people from all over the world gives you a valuable advantage to learn more about different cultures. The compulsory internship is very useful in turning your theoretical knowledge into practice.02br
02br
00At the moment I am in my third year of the Bachlor in Business Administration. It has given me a good base to start the Master Degree programme in International Management 01b00as all02b00 the books, exams, and01b00 classes02b00 00where00 in English.02br
02br
00Thank you very much for considering my request. I look forward to your positive response.0-

Lil&apos; Ruby Rose · Answer

0 You have double-posted this letter under the name Carlito's Way.  Since I have already offered some suggestions/corrections for you, this seems an unnecessary duplication. 0-

CarlitosWay · Answer

0I have changed my letter and have the following. Can you please check it for me?02br
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00 00 00 00 02br
02br
00Dear Sir / Madam,02br
02br
02br
00I am writing to apply for the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS.02br
02br
02br
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00My parents have a Moroccan background and I was born in Amsterdam. Working in the hospitality industry for several years gave me the chance to interact with different people from around the world and develop my social skills. It has giving me the 00insight00 that different people have different needs.Travelling has taught me to be very open-minded, and that every country has its own way of conducting business. This is the reason I got very interested in international management. I am excited that there is a Master that really fits all my needs. At the moment I am in my third year of the Bachelor in Business Administration. It has given me a good base to start the Master Degree programme in International Management 01b00as all02b00 the books, exams, and01b00 02b00classes were00 in English.When I started travelling, I already had begun my Bachelor Degree in Business Administration. My passion for travelling and business has led me to the Master Degree programme in International Management-CEMS. The Netherlands has always been a country that has opened its borders to different nationalities and cultures. The Netherlands is a nation of business people. It is a very popular destination for multinational companies. The Dutch culture I grew up in has given me that kind of enterpreneurial thinking. 02br
02br
00My career ambition is to start a successful trading company after a few years of quality and hard earned experience at a leading trading company. The Master Degree will give me valuable knowledge on how to deal with issues among others like globalization, international marketing and global supply chain management. Rotterdam was the biggest port in the world. while studying in Rotterdam I can apply for a parttime job at the port to extend my experience.The Master programme of00 00International Management-CEMS at Erasmus University will enable me to excel in my chosen field of interest. I am confident that the International Management degree offered by Erasmus University will provide me with the knowledge and confidence to realize my ambitions.02br
00 00In addition to my studies I had my own company ........ which has taught me how to react on changes of a business environment. I am currently working as manager of ............00 00During this time I’ve learned how to apply sound business management principles to increase the productivity of the business. .............has employees with different nationalities. This has challenged me to find a approach to manage this diversity. Furthermore playing soccer00 00has learned me the importance of teamwork. 00 00 00 02br
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00Looking around me, I can see that borders are fading, and everything is conducted globally. Companies do not constrain their ambitions within national borders: they go where their ambition leads them. There are huge challenges in responding to globalization.02br
02br
00 00I want to study International Management at Erasmus University because I like to be challenged. It is a programme only open to a selective group of students. The chance to meet people from all over the world will give me a valuable advantage to learn more about different cultures. The compulsory internship is very useful in turning your theoretical knowledge into practice02br
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00I hope that I will be accepted as an applicant in the 2007/2008 academic years. I am confident that I am qualified and prepared to meet all requirements of the application. 02br
00 02br
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00Kind regards,02br
02br
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00<<name removed at poster's request>>0-

Nona the brit · Answer

0 Seems ok from a quick scan through. Good luck. 0-

CarlitosWay · Answer

--

Motivation letter to an university please help its urgent !!!!!!

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