Motivation letter. HELP me please!

Question

I read quite a lot here on forum and MountainHiker really opened my eyes on what motivation letter really should look like.

I’ve written my motivation letter and ask experts to criticize the letter and give me tips how to make it better.

I am ready to work and open for critique so please help me.

Title

Company Name

Company Address

City, State, Zip

Dear (Ms. or Mr.) ****:

As an enthusiast of computer science and globalization, I believe that international education can change lives. The information on website of **** about the **** program, as well as outstanding recommendations of ***’s alumni, has encouraged me to apply for *** Program. This program is an efficient step towards my carrier ambition to become a doctor in Computer Science. I want to contribute to society and teach in university.

Studying in *** University gave me profound academic background. Five years of academic study gave me ability to work on issues profoundly and efficiently. During my study, I took part in various university competitions (enclosed CV indicates), won scholarship and made presentations on conferences. While doing my degree work I learned how to protect intellectual property and with my research supervisors received utility patent of *** .

Graduated from *** University in 20** with diploma with distinction I continued my education as post-graduate student. Post-graduate course “Philosophy and history of science” help me to look at science as a whole. Teaching practice in the university gave me ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, organize speech to be clear for everyone.

I am passionate about modern computer technologies hardware and software as well. Experience with AVR and MCS-51 microcontrollers, programming chips on C and Assembler as well as practice with C++ and Java, VHDL programming for Altera’s FPGA in my degree work gave me sufficient background. Great interest in web development leads me to learn HTML, CSS and JavaScript and constructed webpage for students.

I am confident that I will contribute to this program. I will exceed all your expectations either in academic background, motivation for research or interpersonal skills.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,

****

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Hi, I received your request to review your letter. I am busy right now. However, you should review these following posts:

Here are some posts you should review. These posts will give you some ideas on the structure of your letter.

Good example:

Also, go through your letter, and delete "profound" wherever you see it.

MountainHiker · Answer

Dear (Ms. or Mr.) **:

>>As an enthusiast of computer science and globalization, I believe that international education can change lives. The information on website of ** about the ** program, as well as outstanding recommendations of ***’s alumni, has encouraged me to apply for *** Program. This program is an efficient step towards my carrier ambition to become a doctor in Computer Science. I want to contribute to society and teach in university.

You ramble on without saying much. I don't understand why you have a specific passion or why various alumni encouraged you to APPLY TO the program.

>>Studying in *** University gave me profound academic background. Five years of academic study gave me ability to work on issues profoundly and efficiently. During my study, I took part in various university competitions (enclosed CV indicates), won scholarship and made presentations on conferences. While doing my degree work I learned how to protect intellectual property and with my research supervisors received utility patent of *** .

What does "profound academic background" mean? It means nothing. Get rid of "every profound" in your letter. You've got two profounds in two sentences. This is profoundly upsetting.

I don't like this paragraph for various reasons. When you use various, you tell the reader that you as writer are lazy. You want to be specific in your letter.

And, don't refer to your cv. This letter must be stand-alone.

In short, this paragraph doesn't tell me anything of consequence.

>>Graduated from *** University in 20** with diploma with distinction I continued my education as post-graduate student. Post-graduate course “Philosophy and history of science” help me to look at science as a whole. Teaching practice in the university gave me ability to separate the wheat from the chaff, organize speech to be clear for everyone.

Okay, at least here you've mentioned an accomplish of graduating with distinction. The rest of the paragraph is useless.

I have no clue what you learned in your graduate course, whether it is useful or just wasted time. And I have no clue about what you mean about "separating wheat from chaff."

>>I am passionate about modern computer technologies hardware and software as well. Experience with AVR and MCS-51 microcontrollers, programming chips on C and Assembler as well as practice with C++ and Java, VHDL programming for Altera’s FPGA in my degree work gave me sufficient background. Great interest in web development leads me to learn HTML, CSS and JavaScript and constructed webpage for students.

Wasted paragraph. I assume that you can program in various languages. So rattling off a bunch of languages does nothing.

>>I am confident that I will contribute to this program. I will exceed all your expectations either in academic background, motivation for research or interpersonal skills.

You've given me nothing to work with.

>>Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

This whole letter should be about you. What do you do? What are you passions? What have you accomplished?

This letter has no passion, no imagination, no energy.

With your graduation with distinction, you are likely bright enough. However, this letter masks your intelligence and creativity.

Kostya_4524 · Answer

Good day, MountainHiker!

And first of all thanks a lot for your review and your critique!

It is extremely useful for me!

Yep, my letter is poor.

While I read the site, I saw that people tend to go away from facts and write in general. Opposite, it is necessary to approve the words you tell.

I wrote 4 paragraphs to concretize what I have accomplished.

Now I think it is necessary to include them in my ML?

I am working on my ML right now.

I’m good as team player and in individual work as well.

Our team twice gained the lead in university competitions in Mathematics in 2006 and 2007. Afterwards we came to Ye***burg and represent our Alma Mater in whole-Russian universities mathematics competition.

Individually I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “R*** language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. M*** scholarship.

In the beginning of my degree work I hadn’t any soldering experience, didn’t know what FPGA is and how to make the system that decodes number codes of tracking circuit. I have a dream to make a working hardware system based on FPGA that is reconfigured and versatile. I studied hard and in five weeks I have a whole insight what my system should look like. There wasn’t any programmer to configure the chip so I decided to do it myself and I carried out this task. By the end of my project I soldered the system I wanted, learned VHDL programming language, wrote a program and make it work and accomplished the task with original hardware and software decisions.

Finally in autumn 2010 my degree work was rated as the third in whole-Russian degree works competition among railway universities in specialty “Au***”.

When I received my grade in 2010 I with my research supervisor Roman Ayupov decided to protect the device we designed during my graduate work and receive utility patent of Ru. It was hard to do as we dealt with Federal Agency of intellectual property, patents and trademarks and had to write bunch of documents to describe principle and content of our device. It was a challenge to describe hardware and principle of operation with words and to make it clear and precise for everyone what elements the device consist of and in what relations exist between the elements. We received letters of inquiry from Agency and it was my duty to answer those letters, clarify the ideas and define more exactly some parts of description. Finally we received utility patent of Russian Federation ?103017 and protected our intellectual property.

MountainHiker · Answer

>>I wrote 4 paragraphs to concretize what I have accomplished.

I counted six paragraphs.

>>Now I think it is necessary to include them in my ML?

Not in their present condition.

>>I am working on my ML right now.

That's good.

>>I’m good as team player and in individual work as well.

When you saying you are good at something, you need to back it up with examples. Otherwise, they are just empty words.

For example (fictitious example)

In my first year of university, I was the treasurer of our local chess club. In my second through fourth year, I was the president. Then go on to describe individual and leadership roles.

Also, when writing formal letters, do not use contractions. That is, write "I am good at..." as opposed to "I'm good at..." Although technically correct, contractions are a bit lazy.

>>Our team twice gained the lead in university competitions in Mathematics in 2006 and 2007. Afterwards we came to Ye***burg and represent our Alma Mater in whole-Russian universities mathematics competition.

That's good.

>>Individually I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “R*** language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. M*** scholarship.

As a favor, please put in dummy words. For example, you could use Ekaterinburg as a city. It just makes it easier to read.

If you are going to list a bunch of accomplishments, you must connect these accomlishments to your future goals.

>>In the beginning of my degree work I hadn’t any soldering experience, didn’t know what FPGA is and how to make the system that decodes number codes of tracking circuit. I have a dream to make a working hardware system based on FPGA that is reconfigured and versatile. I studied hard and in five weeks I have a whole insight what my system should look like. There wasn’t any programmer to configure the chip so I decided to do it myself and I carried out this task. By the end of my project I soldered the system I wanted, learned VHDL programming language, wrote a program and make it work and accomplished the task with original hardware and software decisions.

You don't want to tell lengthy stories. Instead, speak to what you learned through the process.

For example: I am a quick learner who is able to apply theoretical information in a pragmatic manner.

I was able to construct a new and novel circuit board using x programming language. blah blah blah

>>Finally in autumn 2010 my degree work was rated as the third in whole-Russian degree works competition among railway universities in specialty “Au***”.

I don't understand "your degree work."

>>When I received my grade in 2010 I with my research supervisor Roman Ayupov decided to protect the device we designed during my graduate work and receive utility patent of Ru. It was hard to do as we dealt with Federal Agency of intellectual property, patents and trademarks and had to write bunch of documents to describe principle and content of our device. It was a challenge to describe hardware and principle of operation with words and to make it clear and precise for everyone what elements the device consist of and in what relations exist between the elements. We received letters of inquiry from Agency and it was my duty to answer those letters, clarify the ideas and define more exactly some parts of description. Finally we received utility patent of Russian Federation ?103017 and protected our intellectual property.

I would eliminate the small details and focus on the larger picture. You created something that is protected by a patent. That is an accomplishment.

Kostya_4524 · Answer

Hello, MountainHiker!

Thanks a lot for your revision.

Your comments are crucial for me.

I re-wrote first part of letter to correct the drawbacks you have mentioned.

I’m working on the second part of my ML. My motivation to this program. And I choose why this university.

I also have several questions about details.

How is correct: whole – Russian University competition or whole-Russian universities competition or it does not matter?
I have read on the web that motivation letter should be no longer than 1 page. Is it mandatory? Now I have ML 1,5 pages. I should reduce or not?

>>Finally in autumn 2010 my degree work was rated as the third in whole-Russian degree works competition among railway universities in specialty “Au***”.

I don't understand "your degree work."

Here in Russia, when you have a defense of a degree work you make presentation and “explanatory note”. “Explanatory note” that is detailed description of you degree work (more than 100 pages). Federal Agency of railway transport held the competition of degree works – they compare incomparable things, yep. Some degree work is about programming, another tells about modernization of something, etc. So criteria are new decisions, innovations you offer, something like this. My “Explanatory note” gained the third place in this whole-Russian competition.

I should tell this in one or two sentences.

So here is re-written part of my letter:

I want to apply for Master Program in Computer Science. This program is efficient step towards my carrier ambition to become a doctor in this field. My desire is to teach people and work in the university.

I am good as team player and in individual work as well. For instance, our team twice gained the lead in university competitions in Mathematics in 2006 and 2007. Afterwards we came to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in whole-Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual (--is it correct?--) I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “Russian language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. This experience taught me to organize my time, define goals and how to work out to achieve them.

Degree work was a challenge for me. My dream was to make a working hardware system based on FPGA that is reconfigured and versatile. This system should decode codes of track circuit on railway. I was able to construct a system and program it using VHDL programming language. The task was accomplished despite difficulties. For example, there wasn’t any programmer to configure the chip so I decided to do it myself and I carried out this task. By the end of my project, I had the working system with original hardware and software decisions.

Graduated from Omsk State Transport University in 2010 with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0 I continued my education as post-graduate student. With my research supervisor I decided to protect the device I made during my degree work. I answered the letters of inquiry of Federal Agency of intellectual property to clarify the ideas and define more exactly some parts of description. The goal was succeed and we received utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017.

MountainHiker · Answer

>>I also have several questions about details.

>>How is correct: whole – Russian University competition or whole-Russian universities competition or it does not matter?

I prefer Russian University competition.

>> I have read on the web that motivation letter should be no longer than 1 page. Is it mandatory? Now I have ML 1,5 pages. I should reduce or not?

Brevity is golden. I would try for 1 to 2 pages. If you can fit your information on one page, you get bonus points.

>> I should tell this in one or two sentences.

Rephrase it in one sentence so that the reader understands you placed third in a challenging competition. That's all the reader cares about.

You must remember that the reader will read hundreds of these letters. He or she is just looking to see if you can write a coherent and logical letter. Don't make this exercise too difficult.

>>I want to apply for Master Program in Computer Science. This program is efficient step towards my carrier ambition to become a doctor in this field. My desire is to teach people and work in the university.

You want to apply TO A MasterS Program in Computer Science.

You mean "career" not "carrier". Let's rewrite this first paragraph.

I am applying to the Masters Program in Computer Science. My career goal is to become a professor researching artificial intelligence and sharing my knowledge with enthusiastic students.

How's that?

>>I am good as team player and in individual work as well. For instance, our team twice gained the lead in university competitions in Mathematics in 2006 and 2007. Afterwards we came to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in whole-Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual ( is it correct?) I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “Russian language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. This experience taught me to organize my time, define goals and how to work out to achieve them.

This paragraph is a bit chaotic.

Throughout my accomplishments, I have demonstrated my abilities to work as a team player and a strong individual contributor. As part of X University team, we won (or just gained the lead?) in mathematics competitions in 2006 and 2007. Later, we went to Yekaterinburg...blah blah blah (did you win or just take part in a competition....you want to demonstrate that you somehow contributed. I am not sure what you did other than answer math questions). As an individual competitor..blah blah blah.

See what you can do.

>>Degree work was a challenge for me. My dream was to make a working hardware system based on FPGA that is reconfigured and versatile. This system should decode codes of track circuit on railway. I was able to construct a system and program it using VHDL programming language. The task was accomplished despite difficulties. For example, there wasn’t any programmer to configure the chip so I decided to do it myself and I carried out this task. By the end of my project, I had the working system with original hardware and software decisions.

I have no clue what you are talking about here. I am not even sure what the main point of the above paragraph is. Degree work was challenging? Your dream? Coding and decoding circuis? No programmer available? Not sure?

First no contractions. Forget about "wasn't" --> was not.

Second, this detailed technical stuff doesn't matter. The reader assumes you can do technical stuff. Provide the reader with the impression of the things you can do. That is, are you smart, tenacious, determined, inquisitive, hard-working, kind, flexible, helpful, curious or whatever. And then support your point with a quick anecdote or story.

>>Graduated from Omsk State Transport University in 2010 with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0 I continued my education as post-graduate student. With my research supervisor I decided to protect the device I made during my degree work. I answered the letters of inquiry of Federal Agency of intellectual property to clarify the ideas and define more exactly some parts of description. The goal was succeed and we received utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017.

You've got the intelligence, but you're missing the larger picture.

Again, what is the main point of your paragraph?
- GPA?
- Post-graduate student?
- Patent?
- Work to support your patent?

If this were my paragraph, I would say that I am smart, determined, and creative. As evidence, here's my GPA. And through my creativity and determination, I created X, which is now patented. Through this process, I learnd X, Y, and Z. You want to skip over the minutia of answering letters and stuff. Nobody cares. All they care about is that you had an idea and then made it into reality. What did you learn through that process?

Kostya_4524 · Answer

Hello MountainHiker!

Thanks a lot for your comments. I had no internet at home, so I can write to you when I am in university.

I have several questions referring to my CV. Could you help me?

I am not sure about these phrases:

Extended linguistic preparation (<

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Won the first place in team-based (< is it correct?)Mathematics competition in OSTU in 2006 and 2007

And how do you think what chronometrical order should be in CV? I have earliest last and present first. Is it correct?

You have opened my eyes on my poor academic English writing skills.

I read article in Wall Street Journal you gave the link here on forum: Students Struggle for Words. And now I have strong desire to improve my writing skills.

I re-wrote ML to eliminate drawbacks you have mentioned. This is new version of my ML:

I am applying to the Masters Program in Computer Science. My career goal is to become a professor researching artificial intelligence and sharing my knowledge with enthusiastic students.

Throughout my accomplishments, I have demonstrated my abilities to work as a team player and a strong individual contributor. As part of team, we won mathematics competitions in Omsk State Transport University in 2006 and 2007. Later, we went to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in whole-Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual competitor, I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “Russian language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. This experience taught me how to organize my time, define goals and achieve them.

I have strong ability to work hard, find practical solutions and overcome the difficulties. In my degree work I wanted to make a working hardware system based on FPGA for railway interlocking system. Finally, I achieved this goal and was able to construct and program that system. The task was succeeded despite difficulties. For instance, I made programmer myself to configure the chip and learned several programming languages. By the end of my project, I had the working system with original hardware and software decisions.

I am smart, creative and determined. As evidence, I graduated from Omsk State Transport University with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0. Referring my creativity and determination, I have created FPGA-based system for railway, which is now patented (utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017). Through this process, I learned to prove, clarify and explain ideas clearly, concentrate on present work and see things as a whole.

Applying Program will give me ability to become part of international team researching artificial intelligence I am so interested in. Program will give me opportunity to increase my professional level, become open-mind and internationally experienced specialist. Possessing these qualities help me to teach in university at professional level. I will do the best I can to contribute to the program. I will exceed all your expectations either in academic background, motivation for research or interpersonal skills.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,

Konstantin

MountainHiker · Answer

>>I have several questions referring to my CV. Could you help me?

I will do what I can.

>>Extended linguistic preparation (<

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Is it correct? Perhaps, but clumsy. I would do it differently.

Studied four language: Russian and English (fluent), Deutsch Kazakh (advanced written and oral). Something like that.

>>Won the first place in team-based (<

is it correct?)Mathematics competition in OSTU in 2006 and 2007

Our team won the Mathematics competition in OSTU in 2006 and 2007. (better)

(team-based is not used - I have never seen it)

>>And how do you think what chronometrical order should be in CV? I have earliest last and present first. Is it correct?

It's ~chronological~ order. I agree, have the most recent first and earliest last. Keep the most relevant stuff first.

>>I am applying to the Masters Program in Computer Science. My career goal is to become a professor researching artificial intelligence and sharing my knowledge with enthusiastic students.

(good)

>>Throughout my accomplishments, I have demonstrated my abilities to work as a team player and a strong individual contributor. As part of team, we won mathematics competitions in Omsk State Transport University in 2006 and 2007. Later, we went to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in whole-Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual competitor, I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “Russian language and speech standards” and “English language”. It was 2008, when I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. This experience taught me how to organize my time, define goals and achieve them.

Throughout my accomplishments, I have demonstrated my abilities to work as a team player and a strong individual contributor. As part of team, we won mathematics competitions in Omsk State Transport University in 2006 and 2007. Later, we went to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual competitor, I won first and second place in university competitions in “Russian language and Speech Standards” and “English language”. In 2008, I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. These experiences taught me how to organize my time and how to define and achieve my goals.

>>I have strong ability to work hard, find practical solutions, and overcome the difficulties. In my degree work I wanted to make a working hardware system based on FPGA for railway interlocking system. Finally, I achieved this goal and was able to construct and program that system. The task was succeeded despite difficulties. For instance, I made programmer myself to configure the chip and learned several programming languages. By the end of my project, I had the working system with original hardware and software decisions.

(This paragraph is somewhat clumsy. The reader likely doesn't know "FPGA" stuff. At least I don't know it. You want to make your letter easily understood by all.)

Once I have defined my goals (see how we are picking up from the last paragraph?), I work hard to find practical solutions (overcoming difficulties is understood). For my thesis/project, I wanted to create a working hardware system based on FPGA for the railway interlocking system (no clue what this means). I needed to learn several programming languages in order to design and configure a microchip. After eight months, I had accomplished my goal.

(this paragraph isn't that good either. But perhaps it will help you in the right direction.)

I am smart, creative and determined. As evidence, I graduated from Omsk State Transport University with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0. Referring my creativity and determination, I have created FPGA-based system for railway, which is now patented (utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017). Through this process, I learned to prove, clarify and explain ideas clearly, concentrate on present work and see things as a whole.

(I like this content in this paragraph. However, I don't like the paragraph itself. It is repetitive to some degree. Earlier you talked about your competitions. You've already proved you're smart. So you should capture your intelligence there. And in the prior paragraph, we talked about your determination and hard work. It was all about programming. So you need to move all your "intelligence" stuff together. And you need to move all your hard work, determination, and creative stuff together.)

>>Applying Program will give me ability to become part of international team researching artificial intelligence I am so interested in. Program will give me opportunity to increase my professional level, become open-mind and internationally experienced specialist. Possessing these qualities help me to teach in university at professional level. I will do the best I can to contribute to the program. I will exceed all your expectations either in academic background, motivation for research or interpersonal skills.

As you can see from my prior accomplishments, I am passionate and focused. I want to attend X University so that I can continue my technical development as well as experience life outside of my native country. To be successful in our global world, young leader need to be exposed to wide and diverse settings. Given all my strengths, I am confident that I will meet or exceed your expectations.

(Something like that? I wanted to give you a slightly more focused, confident approach.)

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

(Your letter has improved tremendously.)

Kostya_4524 · Answer

Hello again MountainHiker!

Thanks for your review again and that is very useful for me. This is my 10^th version of ML. I have a lot of work today, so I had not enough time to think about motivation letter today.

So I correct my motivation letter but not enough.

What do you think this letter that we wrote could be grouped as “essay/letter of motivation, why you are applying for the academic programme abroad. (could you explain, what is the meaning of this sentence? Do they need detailed schedule what I will do during the project? ==>) Please set milestones for the sponsorship period in your time schedule”

Again thanks a lot and have a nice day!

So here is next revision of ML:

I am applying to the Masters Program in Computer Science. My career goal is to become a professor researching artificial intelligence and sharing my knowledge with enthusiastic students.

Throughout my accomplishments, I have demonstrated my abilities to work as a team player and a strong individual contributor. As part of team, we won mathematics competitions in Omsk State Transport University (OSTU) in 2006 and 2007. Later, we went to Yekaterinburg and represented our Alma Mater in whole-Russian University competition in Mathematics. As an individual competitor, I took the first and the second place in university competitions in “Russian language and speech standards” and “English language”. In 2008, I was the one of two laureates in the university of P.P. Melnikov scholarship. These experiences taught me how to organize my time and how to define and achieve my goals.

Once I have defined my goals I work hard to find practical solutions and overcome difficulties. For my degree work, I wanted to create a working hardware system based on FPGA chip for the railway interlocking system. I succeeded in this task despite difficulties. For instance, I made programmer myself to configure the chip and learned several programming languages. By the end of semester, I had accomplished my goal with original hardware and software decisions.

I am smart, creative and determined. As evidence, I graduated from Omsk State Transport University with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0. Referring my creativity and determination, I have created FPGA-based system for railway, which is now patented (utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017). Through this process, I learned to prove, clarify and explain ideas clearly, concentrate on present work and see things as a whole.

As you can see from my prior accomplishments, I am passionate and focused. I want to attend X University so that I can continue my technical development as well as experience life outside of my native country. The Program will give me ability to become part of international team researching artificial intelligence I am so interested in. To be successful in our global world, young leader needs to be exposed to wide and diverse settings. Possessing these qualities help me to teach in university at professional level. I will do the best I can to contribute to the program. Given all my strengths, I am confident that I will meet or exceed your expectations.

Thank you for considering my application, and I look forward to your acceptance.

Sincerely yours,

Konstantin

MountainHiker · Answer

Hi,

Today is a really busy day, so I can't give you a thorough review today.

>>What do you think this letter that we wrote could be grouped as “essay/letter of motivation, why you are applying for the academic programme abroad. (could you explain, what is the meaning of this sentence? Do they need detailed schedule what I will do during the project? ==>) Please set milestones for the sponsorship period in your time schedule”

I am not sure. I am not sure if they are referring to key points (milestones) when you will receive your funding?

Date 1 - Application submission

Date 2 - Application approval

Date 3 - Funding / sponsorship approved

Date 4 - Attend university

Or, perhaps your programme is more project related

Date 1 - Attend university

Date 2 - Assemble team

Date 3 - Project initiation

Date 4 - Research X,Y,Z

From your limited information, I don't know.

>>I am smart, creative and determined. As evidence, I graduated from Omsk State Transport University with diploma with distinction and overall GPA 4.8 / 5.0. Referring my creativity and determination, I have created FPGA-based system for railway, which is now patented (utility patent of Russian Federation No 103017). Through this process, I learned to prove, clarify and explain ideas clearly, concentrate on present work and see things as a whole.

I want to delete this paragraph. I want to move the GPA stuff to your accomplishments/team/individual player paragraph. And I want to move your creativity and determination to your practical solutions and difficulties paragraph.

I want to reduce the duplication and shorten your letter.

Your last paragraph needs some work too.

Motivation letter. HELP me please!

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Won the fir

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Is it correct? Perhaps, but clumsy. I would do it differently.

Studied four language: Russian and English (fluent), Deutsch Kazakh (advanced wri

Motivation letter. HELP me please!

Top answer

Get the Weekly English Kit 📬

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.Won the fir

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.Is it correct? Perhaps, but clumsy. I would do it differently.Studied four language: Russian and English (fluent), Deutsch Kazakh (advanced wri

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Won the fir

is it correct?). Studied 4 languages: Russian, English, Deutsch and Kazakh.

Is it correct? Perhaps, but clumsy. I would do it differently.

Studied four language: Russian and English (fluent), Deutsch Kazakh (advanced wri