Mirroring

Question

The customer service rep is skilled at picking up on cues and adapting to them to give fast, hassle-free service. What he did exactly is a strategy in relationship management that requires social awareness skills-listening, being present, putting yourself in the shoes of the other person, identifying where someone is emotionally, and choosing an appropriate and complementary response. This last piece, choosing a complementary response doesn’t require you to match or mirror emotions; it wouldn’t make sense for the customer service rep to use the same impatient approach you did—that would infuriate you as the customer. Mirroring emotions would also make coworkers and friends recoil. The complementary response always says you recognize what the other person feels and you think it’s important.

In this paragragh, does 'matching/mirroring emotions' mean showing empathy? And I'm wondering what 'complementary repsone' exactly means here. Is it kind of addtional interest?

Thanks in advance!

Avangi · Accepted Answer

My guess is that this is a relatively new "science," or technology, and is developing it's own jargon.

I take the point of this paragraph to be that mirroring/matching is bad and the "complementary response" is good.

Mirroring/matching would be something like "mimicking" the person. It could be taken as "mocking." That's bad.

Showing empathy or sympathy for someone (or someone's problems) does not require you to cry when they cry, etc.

(At least, I don't think it does.) Imitating the person is what you should avoid. But "empathy" is okay.

Notice the difference between "compliment" and "complement." As a grammar student, you're aware that a complement "completes" something.

In geometry, if the second angle is complementary to the first, it adds the amount necessary to bring the total up to 90 degrees. (The two angles are not necessarily the same, but one is a response to the other, "fixing" it, or making it whole.)

A complementary response would add/provide whatever is necessary to "make the customer whole again," or fix his problem.

Edit. Looking at John Paris' response, I'd say that "complementary" is correct and "complimentary" is not.

To compliment the customer would be to suck up to him. That may be okay too, but it has nothing to do with fixing his problem - unless his problem is only that he's unhappy.

JohnParis · Answer

No, mirroring would mean taking the same attitude as the customer.

Mariott, I believe that the overall idea of this paragraph is that the customer rep should always attempt to recognize what the client feels. That's the concept of empathy I was referring to in my initial response.

I also suspect that the author of this paragraph has misused the word 'complementary'. "The Complimentary Response" would be more in line with what the tone of the paragraph projects. This is a common error.

Mariott · Answer

Thanks Avangi. So, complementary response may be replaced with compensating response

in a sense.

Mariott · Answer

Thanks JohnParis!

Avangi · Answer

mariottcomplementary response may be replaced with compensating response
in a sense.

Theoretically, yes.

But bear in mind that "customer service" is a huge field which is expanding all the time. There are probably many new books being written on the subject, and probably "college level" courses being offered.

The term "complementary response" may now be accepted within the community as part of the "science" of customer service. You could substitute "compensating response" for your own understanding, but probably use it in the business at your own peril.

JohnParis · Answer

Given the context of the original paragraph posted by mariott, I maintain that the author of said original paragraph mistakenly used "complementary" when he should have used "complimentary".

Complementary means completing (in the sense of 'additional' The computer comes with all necessary complementary cables).

Complimentary is defined expressing a compliment; praising or approving.

Customer service representatives are trained to give complimentary (praising, approving, agreeable) responses to customers.

Avangi · Answer

Hi, John.

I don't think this is so much a dictionary issue as a matter of specific technical terms.

"Complementary response" and "complementarity" are recognized technical terms in the field of psychology and interpersonal relationships.

http://psycnet.apa.org/index.cfm?fa=buy.optionToBuy&id=1993-26440-001

On the status dimension, the maximally engaging response (as is the complementary response) is reciprocal to the other person's immediately preceding ...

Best regards,

- A.

JohnParis · Answer

Hello A

This is not a "dictionary issue".

Please try and see the difference between the words "complimentary" and "complementary".

One word is spelled with an "i" (between the "l" and the "m").

The other is spelled with an "e" (between the "l" and the "m").

They are pronounced the same but because they are spelled differently, they have completely different meanings.

I maintain that that author of the paragraph originally posted by maroitt incorrectly employed "complementary" when he/she actually intended to use the word "complimentary".

Use of the word "complimentary" would fit with the context of the paragraph. Using "complementary" does not.

Avangi · Answer

Hi, John.

Thanks for your reply.

If you'll take a look at my original post, you may note that I addressed this topic.

My position has been that the term "complementary response" might be a technical term used in the field of psychology and interpersonal relationship.

I had bad luck with Google, coming up with only a teaser.

I have two retired psychiatrists in my chorus, one of whom allows as how you may have a point, depending on context.

I didn't have Mariott's excerpt with me at the gig last night, but have since emailed it to him. I await his reply.

He did, however, confirm that both "complementary response" and "supplementary response" are common technical terms in his field.

I found that encouraging, from my point of view.

Cheers, - A.

JohnParis · Answer

Hello A

I do not feel that continuing this discussion here on mariott's thread will help her.

Perhaps we could resume the debate via email. Mine is posted in my Profile.

I don't seem to see one for you...

Regards, John

Mirroring

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