I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and would be made permanent depending on compatibility. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us.
Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However, I am broad minded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
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A real businessman! But love isn't it!!!!
— Matress
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To Romeo Loveless Grade 9.0 Manager - Hampering Resources
Sub: Offer of love - Denied
Dearest Mr. Loveless,
This letter is to confirm receipt of your letter sent on the 15th day of October, Anno Domini two thousand and six. I noted its contents. In this unpropitious moment, I am inclined to remain hostile to this offer. Moments of movement of the said part