Sharleenandrea Posted 17 years ago
Letter Writing
Letter for Head Hunter
Ciao! I just finish writing/updating a cover letter for a head hunter who offers a position in the financial services. I hope it is quite good, but I'd want to ask you if you can have a look at it, and see if there is any sentence/concept which could be expressed better or in a most fluent way.
Thank you very much!!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying for the position as a fixed income and derivatives marketer you are offering through the website of my University. My interest for finance and markets dates back to 2003, when I bought, on my father’s advice, my first mutual fund share; in the following years I cultivated this passion, experimenting strategies through virtual portfolios and broadening my knowledge of how markets work in practice. Now I am looking for a job which is related to this area, and I feel enthusiastic about the idea to get an international opportunity.
I am currently completing a three-month internship at Bank A, in its Investment Banking Division. As a member of the M&A Team, I collaborate with analysts in evaluating key financials of companies involved in transactions, collecting data and implementing models on Excel. I have also had the opportunity to take part in the merger between XXX and YYY, two French utilities, assessing a sensitivity analysis of XXX's equity value to parameters like growth rate and cost of capital. In 2008 I have completed another internship at Bank B, in the Private Banking Division: I worked directly with senior bankers, being involved both in relations and investment activities, improving my knowledge of the investment process and operating with a high degree of autonomy. I believe these experiences have been extremely enriching, as I have been exposed both to the market and the corporate sides of finance; I have also developed excellent communication skills and, above all, the ability to work with accuracy and attention to detail, even under pressure and while respecting deadlines.
I hope you will consider my curriculum vitae; should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time and attention.
Yours sincerely,
Thank you very much!!
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am applying for the position as a fixed income and derivatives marketer you are offering through the website of my University. My interest for finance and markets dates back to 2003, when I bought, on my father’s advice, my first mutual fund share; in the following years I cultivated this passion, experimenting strategies through virtual portfolios and broadening my knowledge of how markets work in practice. Now I am looking for a job which is related to this area, and I feel enthusiastic about the idea to get an international opportunity.
I am currently completing a three-month internship at Bank A, in its Investment Banking Division. As a member of the M&A Team, I collaborate with analysts in evaluating key financials of companies involved in transactions, collecting data and implementing models on Excel. I have also had the opportunity to take part in the merger between XXX and YYY, two French utilities, assessing a sensitivity analysis of XXX's equity value to parameters like growth rate and cost of capital. In 2008 I have completed another internship at Bank B, in the Private Banking Division: I worked directly with senior bankers, being involved both in relations and investment activities, improving my knowledge of the investment process and operating with a high degree of autonomy. I believe these experiences have been extremely enriching, as I have been exposed both to the market and the corporate sides of finance; I have also developed excellent communication skills and, above all, the ability to work with accuracy and attention to detail, even under pressure and while respecting deadlines.
I hope you will consider my curriculum vitae; should you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I look forward to hearing from you.
Thank you very much for your time and attention.
Yours sincerely,
Top answer
ME; If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression. You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader.
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ME;
If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression.
You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader. Use those 10 seconds (the first paragraph) very wisely and carefully - they are your precious jewels of time..
There is a lot of competition out there, and such job offerings are scare. I'
If I were you, I would put my recent experiences first;. because they make a much more powerful first impression.
You have about 10 seconds of initial attention to really impress the reader. Use those 10 seconds (the first paragraph) very wisely and carefully - they are your precious jewels of time..
There is a lot of competition out there, and such job offerings are scare. I'
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Good advice, thank you! Actually my consideration was that they have also the CV, which is the main source to see previous experiences; in my aim, the cover letter would be more focused on talking about interesting or explaining those experiences: that's the reason why I did't believe it was necessary to put them in the first paragraph.
What about language, words used, and verbs (past simple
What about language, words used, and verbs (past simple
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The grammar is OK, I didn't see obvious errors.
Although you are very right in that the CV has all your personal information and background, you have to ask yourself - "what is the first piece of paper in my package they will read?" - and put your best "WOW" effect there. You need to motivate and entice the reader to go further.
Picture yourself in the reader's position - you hav
Although you are very right in that the CV has all your personal information and background, you have to ask yourself - "what is the first piece of paper in my package they will read?" - and put your best "WOW" effect there. You need to motivate and entice the reader to go further.
Picture yourself in the reader's position - you hav
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Yeah, I think you are right. I have followed your advice and changed the letter before sending. Thank you!!
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Maybe you can post your final revision here for sharing purposes. Thanks!
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