I'm back! please check my English

Question

Dear all,I'm back from maternity leave.  Now alot of work are waiting for me. My manager is waiting for me to review my performace last year and he asks me to do self-assessment.Here is my writing below.Could you please check my English?Ordering younger learner books--Internal feedback received by Ms Trish( in charge of ***Section).Organising Library Orientation sessionEleven Library Orientations happened in 2008-2009 detail below.27 May’ 08, 18 Jun’ 08, 22 July’ 08, 19 Aug’ 08, 30 Sept’ 08, 29 Oct’ 08, 19 Nov’ 08, 17 Dec’ 08, 20 Jan’09, 18 Feb’09, 24 Mar’ 09Organise two library Orientation sessions more than those estimated in the plan 2008-09.Making phone call for overdue booksOver 50% of overdue books returned monthly. *** Books and ***DVDs were recovered from 2008-2009 overdue items and ****$ collected as overdue fines in that year.Organising **seminarInternal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Mrs Wendy.Organised “ **Exam seminar” in ** September 2008 and it was successful that the number of attendees are 3 times more than expected in the plan. In addition, there are 5% increase usages in SAC.Updating the subscriber database of e-newsletterIt was updated regularly in time.Updating the websiteIt was able to be done before deadline requested with less mistakes.Thanks in advance for your help.

Clive · Accepted Answer

Hi,

Here is some advice, based on how this is done in Canada.

When you assess yourself, you need to focus on saying that you did things well. If possible, quote facts that clearly show this.

Typically, you do all this in the context of listing the major tasks you performed.

You need to use the pronoun 'I' a lot in all this. I don't see it here once. Don't be shy or too humble!

(Or is it normal where you klive that you assess yourself without ever speaking about yourself?

If so, I find that hard to understand.)

I'm back from maternity leave. Now alot of work are waiting for me. My manager is waiting for me to review my performace last year and he asks me to do self-assessment.

Here is my writing below.

Could you please check my English?

Ordering younger learner books

--Internal feedback received by Ms Trish( in charge of ***Section). How does this show that you performed well in this area?

Organising Library Orientation session

Eleven Library Orientations happened in 2008-2009 detail below. Were you involved in them? Did they go well? Did you make people pleased with what you did? How do you know?

27 May’ 08, 18 Jun’ 08, 22 July’ 08, 19 Aug’ 08, 30 Sept’ 08, 29 Oct’ 08, 19 Nov’ 08,

17 Dec’ 08, 20 Jan’09, 18 Feb’09, 24 Mar’ 09

Organise two library Orientation sessions more than those estimated in the plan 2008-09.

Making phone call for overdue books

Over 50% of overdue books returned monthly. *** Books and ***DVDs were recovered from 2008-2009 overdue items and **$ collected as overdue fines in that year.

Organising **seminar

Internal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Mrs Wendy.How does this show that ypu performed well in this area?

Organised “ **Exam seminar” in ** September 2008 and it was successful that the number of attendees are 3 times more than expected in the plan. In addition, there are 5% increase usages in SAC.

Updating the subscriber database of e-newsletter

It was updated regularly in time. Say 'I'.!!! It sounds like it did it by itself.

Updating the website

It was able to be done before deadline requested with less mistakes. Say 'I'.!!! It sounds like it did it by itself.

Don't say 'with less mistakes'. That is telling your boss that you made some mistakes.

I suggest that you revise all this, and repost it for us to review your English at that time.

Best wishes, Clive

Naked chef · Answer

thanks, clive. You are right. I have make some changes below..Clive!

Could you please review it for me please?

Ordering young learner books

I could able to select 100 new and interesting titles which are very useful in developing YL Collection.

Organising Library Orientation session

I could able to organise "eleven Library Orientations" in 2008-2009 detail below.

27 May’ 08, 18 Jun’ 08, 22 July’ 08, 19 Aug’ 08, 30 Sept’ 08, 29 Oct’ 08, 19 Nov’ 08, 17 Dec’ 08, 20 Jan’09, 18 Feb’09, 24 Mar’ 09.

I could managed to organise two more library Orientation sessions than those estimated in the 2008-2009 plan. The members became well aware of the library services we offer and 5% of usages increase in our online library and services.

Making phone call for overdue books

Over 50% of overdue books were returned monthly by making reminder phone calls. I recovered 974 Books and 90 DVDs from 2008-2009 overdue items and 2,856,300 kyats also collected as overdue fines in that year.

Organising **seminar

Internal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Ms Wendy.

rganise “ ** seminar” on 26 September 2008. It was a successful event as the numbers of attendees were 3 times more than expected in the plan. In addition, there are 5% increase usages in the SAC.

Updating the website

I finished it before the deadline requested, with great satisfaction to my superior.

Updating the subscriber database of e-newsletter

I update the subcriber database of e-newsletter regularly.

Thanks for your help.

Naked Chef!

Soka · Answer

Naked chef
I'm back from maternity leave. Now ~~alot~~ a lot of work is waiting for me. My manager is waiting for me to review my performace last year and he asks me to do self-assessment.

Naked chef · Answer

Thanks Soeleen!

I appreciate your help.

Naked Chef

Clive · Answer

Hi,

I almost completed my answer some hours ago, but the Forum software caused me to lose it. Sorry.

Clive

Young learner collection

I selected 100 new and interesting titles which are very useful in developing the YL Collection.

How do you know this?

Library Orientation sessions

I organised "eleven Library Orientations" in 2008-2009, details below.

27 May’ 08, 18 Jun’ 08, 22 July’ 08, 19 Aug’ 08, 30 Sept’ 08, 29 Oct’ 08, 19 Nov’ 08, 17 Dec’ 08, 20 Jan’09, 18 Feb’09, 24 Mar’ 09.

This was two more than the estimate in the 2008-2009 plan.

The members became well aware of the library services we offer. There was a 5% usage increase in our online library and services.

Overdue books

My efforts resulted in the return of over 50% of overdue books monthly. I achieved this by by making reminder phone calls. I recovered 974 Books and 90 DVDs from the 2008-2009 overdue items and also collected over 2,856,300 kyats as overdue fines.

Organising **seminar

Internal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Ms Wendy. Did she say you were a great worker? A terrible worker? Explain.

I organised the “ ** seminar” on 26 September 2008. It was a successful event as the numbers of attendees were 3 times more than expected in the plan. In addition, there is a 5% usage increase in the SAC.

Website updating

I co,pleted this early, to the great satisfaction to my superior. Say how you know she was greatly satisfied.

E-newsletter

I regularly update the subcriber database for this.

Naked chef · Answer

Dear Clive,

Young learner collection

I selected 100 new and interesting titles which are very useful in developing the YL Collection.

How do you know this?

We have to plan what things we gonna do in the year.. I planned 100 new to order for YL collection. I've done it before deadline....that's why! I have a list of books i orders.

Organising **seminar

Internal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Ms Wendy. Did she say you were a great worker? A terrible worker? Explain.

Yes, I received feedback Exam manager comment on me....I can attach it....

I co,pleted this early, to the great satisfaction to my superior. Say how you know she was greatly satisfied.

heehee this is what i think....

Thanks clive,

sorry for my late reply... i've been busy during these days as I just get back to work from leave..

Naked Chef

Clive · Answer

Hi,

Young learner collection

I selected 100 new and interesting titles which are very useful in developing the YL Collection.

How do you know this?

We have to plan what things we gonna do in the year.. I planned 100 new to order for YL collection. I've done it before deadline..that's why! I have a list of books i orders.

What I meant was that it would be good if you could tell your boss how you know they were useful. eg 'Many patrons told me the new titles were useful'.

Organising **seminar

Internal feedback received by Dy Exams Services Manager, Ms Wendy. Did she say you were a great worker? A terrible worker? Explain.

Yes, I received feedback Exam manager comment on me..I can attach it.. OK, or quote from it.

I co,pleted this early, to the great satisfaction to my superior. Say how you know she was greatly satisfied.

heehee this is what i think.... Same comment as my first above

Clive

Naked chef · Answer

dear clive,

I co,pleted this early, to the great satisfaction to my superior. Say how you know she was greatly satisfied.

heehee this is what i think.... Same comment as my first above

my supervisor send me the draft articles and the title and brief about new books and i have to change standard font style before active on website....

so is it correct if I write like this. " I could able to manage formatting the standard font style of the aritcles and information before they are active on website."

Thanks clive!

looking forward your reply!

Naked chef

Naked chef · Answer

Dear clive!

I click wrongly on verified answer! so what can it be?

Naked chef

Naked chef · Answer

Hi Clive!

How's everything?

Are you busy with your stuff?

I'm very happy if you could give little time to finish mine.....

With all best wishes,

Naked Chef!

I'm back! please check my English

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