Nikoer30127 Posted 15 years ago
Grammar
I need a revision, pls help me. I'm in a rush for a customer
First, Thanks to Tr. free_spirit, because I haven't seen your reply after I asked another questions, but I have to give these translations to a customer before tomorrow morning, therefore, I decided to post the other 2 questions which I haven't received any answers from you.
They are the fragments about hair salon, Please help me revise them to be more like an ad if there are any mistakes.
4. The ideal glossy hair
Not sure what you mean... "ideal for glossy hair" perhaps, or "Give your hair gloss."--by free_spirit
5. Advance the quality of hair coloring , feeling pleasent while dying hair.
Not sure at all sorry.--by free_spirit
For #4, I meant "These products will help your hair look glossy and shiny "
For #5, I meant " You will enjoy the porcess of dying you hair with these products"
So how should I change them?
They are the fragments about hair salon, Please help me revise them to be more like an ad if there are any mistakes.
4. The ideal glossy hair
Not sure what you mean... "ideal for glossy hair" perhaps, or "Give your hair gloss."--by free_spirit
5. Advance the quality of hair coloring , feeling pleasent while dying hair.
Not sure at all sorry.--by free_spirit
For #4, I meant "These products will help your hair look glossy and shiny "
For #5, I meant " You will enjoy the porcess of dying you hair with these products"
So how should I change them?
Top answer
Hi See if can consider these: "Your hair turns shiny" "Feel the pleasure of high quality hair dye ing"
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Hi
See if can consider these:
"Your hair turns shiny"
"Feel the pleasure of high quality hair dyeing"
See if can consider these:
"Your hair turns shiny"
"Feel the pleasure of high quality hair dyeing"
00
Hi
See if can consider these:
"Your hair turns shiny"
"Feel the pleasure of high quality hair dyeing"
See if can consider these:
"Your hair turns shiny"
"Feel the pleasure of high quality hair dyeing"
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When we talk about hair, "glossy" is not the appropriate adjective in my opinion. it sounds kind of odd to me.
Perhaps, "sheen", "luster" "healthy looking" etc.
Perhaps, "sheen", "luster" "healthy looking" etc.
nikoer30127For #4, I meant "These products will help you keep your hair looking healthy and shiny "
For #5, I meant " You will enjoy the
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Thank you so much! Especially you corrected me with "hair DYEING". I always thought it's spelled "D-Y-I-I-N-G".
Haha!
Haha!
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Thank you for your correction, too! I really want to learn the way which a native would say.! Thanks again!
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