Hi everybody, could anyone correct and score my writing?...thanks!!!!

Question

Some people prefer to live with a roommate. Others prefer to live alone. Compare the advantages of each choice. Which of these two options do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your answer.There are many positive and negative reasons for having a roommate. I really enjoy the company of people, so, if I could choose whether have or not a roommate, I would prefer to have a roommate either would not.First of all, I do not mind sharing my room, due to, I have shared my room with my sister since I was four years old. Second, as far as I am concerned, most of the roommates become the closest friends you have ever had, because they are not only a neighbor but also a confidant. Personally, I have only had one roommate and she is still my confidant and one of my closest friends, In other words, as soon as you have a roommate you will make a good friend.And third, I do not like to be alone, for instance, If you have an accident: who will worry because you are not at home? Who will take care of you? It could be a friend: your roommateAnd when you will think and remember all the amazing moments you spend with your roommate you will say that having a roommate was the better option you had ever take.

AlpheccaStars · Accepted Answer

Hi;

Your writing is well done! It is very logical and well organized.

But there are some minor errors and I have some detailed comments about the style.

juliag12There are many positive and negative reasons for having a roommate.

Reasons are just explanations. Reasons are neither negative or positive, but they can support or refute a particular position.

It is confusing because a statement can be described grammatically as being positive or negative.

Just write: There are reasons for having a roommate or not. or

There are reasons to have or not have a roommate.

I really enjoy the company of people, so, if I could choose whether to have or not to have a roommate, I would prefer to have a roommate over not having a roommate.

First of all, I do not mind sharing my room because (due to the fact that) I have shared my room with my sister since I was four years old.

juliag12Second, as far as I am concerned, most of the roommates become the closest friends you have ever had, because they are not only a neighbor but also a confidant. Personally, I have only had one roommate and she is still my confidant and one of my closest friends, In other words, as soon as you have a roommate you will make a good friend.
And third, I do not like to be alone, for instance, If you have an accident: who will worry because you are not at home? Who will take care of you? It could be a friend: your roommate.

And when you will think and remember all the amazing moments you spend with your roommate you will say that having a roommate was the better option you had ever take.

You are combining first person (I) and second person (you) in an argument. It is not incorrect, but the style is a little awkward. When you write an argumentative essay, you should decide what person (or voice) you will use, and then stick with it.

These are a little smoother.

Second, in my experience, most roommates become close friends because they are not only a neighbor but also a confidant.

... (First person)

And third, I do not like to be alone. For instance, if I had an accident: who will worry because I am not at home? Who will take care of me? It could be a friend: my roommate. or

(Second person)

And third, many people do not like to be alone. For instance, if you have an accident: who will worry because you are not at home? Who will take care of you? It could be a friend: your roommate.

Juliag12 · Answer

Hi!!!

thank you so much!....your comments have been very helpful!.

thanks again!!!

Hi everybody, could anyone correct and score my writing?...thanks!!!!

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