Help with acknowledging the approval of request

Question

Hello Sir/Madam,I've requested the company that recruited me, for the change of job location from place A to place B for personal reasons. And they approved my request. Now I need to send a few details from my side for smooth on-boarding process, like date of arrival and stuff. Here is my rather poor attempt, please help me improve in whatever way possible.--Dear Ms xyzI'd like to thank you for considering my request for the change of job location and alloting place B. &lt;will this be enough?&gt;And following are the details I was asked to provide for smooth on-boarding process.Date of Arrival :  xx/xx/xxxx----I dont want to seem unprofessional, and thinking that any fillers might help. Please correct me if my way of thinking is wrong.

JohnParis · Accepted Answer

A "smooth on-boarding process" sounds as if you are about to board an airplane or a boat. The expression is pure 'corporate speak' (aka corporate bla-bla or in-house jargon) but I understand what you're trying to say. Nevertheless, a good letter would convey only what is necessary, avoid jargon, and simply get on with business.

If you are writing to the person that approved your transfer request, you should start by thanking them for approving your request and then just provide the relevant information.

Dear Ms. Smith,

Once again, thank you for approving my request for a transfer to London. I am scheduled to arrive at Heathrow on Wednesday, February 31st at 12h45 on Air France flight 008. My new address will be 26 Sutton Gardens, SW1-4FS, London and my telephone number (which is scheduled to begin on February 32nd) will be +44 2 335 67XXX. My mobile number is +44 7 235 667XXX and it is already in service.

I look forward to joining the London team and I am confident that I will settle in quickly and seamlessly.

Please do not hesitate to email, telephone or send a text message if I may be of further assistance or if you need additional details concerning my transfer.

Sincerely,

John Doe

Use of the term "seamlessly" may not be necessary and you could stop the sentence after the work "quickly". That's up to you.

If you are not writing to the person that approved your transfer request, then there is no need to thank anyone, particularly if you are writing to an unknown person in your HR department. They just need to know when you'll get there and where you'll be once you've arrived and how to reach you.

Dear Ms. Smith,

I have been transferred to the London office and I'll be arriving on Wednesday, February 31st at 12h45 on Air France flight 008. My new address will be 26 Sutton Gardens, SW1-4FS ........

I hope this helps!

Regards,

JohnParis

Anonymous · Answer

Very helpful, thank you.

Help with acknowledging the approval of request

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