Grammar checking for an article

Question

Hi, I'm writing an abstract, and I would really appreciate any feedback on this paragraph.

Thanks!!!

During the last decades, the semen used by farmers has been imported from North America, and the main breeding objective has been high milk production. Most dairy farms are grazing-based, with heavy use of grain and concentrates. There is little control over the environment. Feeding regime varies across years, and is heavily influenced by the country’s economic crises.

Clive · Accepted Answer

The grammar is OK, but a couple of phrases don't sound good to me.

During the last decades sounds vague.

varies across years do you mean 'varies from year to year'?

Clive

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, I meant that. I think I'm going to change the phrase. Thanks!!!

Anonymous · Answer

Here are the following paragraphs:

The aim of this work was to study the behaviour of calving to conception interval (CCI) and number of services per conception (NS) in five dairy farms in the North state.

11122 calvings from year 2000 to year 2013 belonging to Holstein Friesian cows were analized. Multi-factor ANOVA was used for the statistical analyses. The factors were year of calving, farm, production level (high, medium or low), season of calving, and if the cow was a first-time mother or not.

Again, I would appreciate any feedback on them.

Thanks!!

Clive · Answer

Technical texts are hard to edit, so I'll just make this sound better to me as a layman.

The aim of this work was to study the behaviour of the calving to conception interval (CCI) and the number of services per conception (NS) in five dairy farms in the North state.

11 add a comma 122 calvings from the years 2000 to 2013 by Holstein Friesian cows were analyzed. Multi-factor ANOVA was used for the statistical analyses. The factors were year of calving, farm, production level (high, medium or low), season of calving, and whether or not the cow was a first-time mother..

Anonymous · Answer

Thanks again so much. Prepositions and the word limit for the abstract were giving me a headache. Thank you so much!!!!

Louisa Pieterse · Answer

If you give me the full text of the abstract again, I will do it for you.

L Winterbourne · Answer

Word limit is around 250. If you post the full text, I can also give some suggestions.

L Winterbourne · Answer

Hi! Just some suggestion based on what I typically do for a paper:

The aim of this work was to study the behaviour of the calving to conception interval (CCI) and the number of services per conception (NS) in five dairy farms in the North state. (Why did you want to study this?). 11122 calvings from (born? what do you mean from?) 2000 to year 2013 ~~belonging to~~ Holstein Friesian cows were analyzed (____For what? Why? Using what?_____). Or do you mean you did this study from 2000 to 2013? Subject were controlled for/group by? year of calving, farm, production level (high, medium or low), season of calving, and if the cow was a first-time mother or not. (I don't know what you did, but if you group them say group, if you eliminated some say that. The abstract must be precise and to the point).
Results were analyzed using multi-factor ANOVA. (This might not be in your abstract, rather your methods, you must decide)

I recommend reading abstract guidelines. You are missing what your conclusions are and your description on the experiment is quite short.
You need to answer the following questions:
1. What was your aim? Relevance? Connect to research trends, current lit.
2. What did you do, why?
3. Results (Short)
4. Analysis (Longer)
5. Implications/Study Suggests

A lot of your sentences are not in the "typical scientific writing" format. As I do not know your exact experiments, I cannot give you specific advice. However, that it what an abstract is for. Remember, someone should be able to read your abstract and know exactly what you did.

Sorry if my comments are difficult to read. I would highly recommend looking at abstracts in similar projects then reposting. It is always easier to cut word count so you can always write more and revise.

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