Funny Quotes

"Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers."

"Men should be like Kleenex, soft, strong and disposable."
Cher


"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."
Charlotte Whitton.


"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
Socrates.


"When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick."
George Burns.


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
Mariah Carey.


"My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping."
Rita Rudner.



I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette


Copied