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Question

Would you please edit the followings. Is mine (in bold) an improvement? Thanks a lot.

*** A Mentor for Life ***

A: what a beautiful card! (reading the words from the card) To Miss Yang? So this is a birthday card to Miss Yang?

A: (Reading the card) What a beautiful card! Is it for Miss Yang? So this is a card for her birthday.

B: No. Her birthday is three months away. I will give her the card on Teachers Day.

B: No. Her birthday is three months away; I will give her this card on Teachers Day.

A: That is very thoughtful of you to send a card to Miss Yang even though she doesnt teach you.

A: That is very thoughtful of you to be sending a card to Miss Yang even though she is not your teacher.

B: Well, I dont use teacher in the usual sense of the word, but apply it in a broader sense.

B: Well, I dont use the word teacher in its usual sense; I have a broader definition.

A: What do you mean by that?

B: Miss Yang does not teach me at school, but at the church, she does give me a lot of inspiration and guidance in life. To many Christians, Miss Yang is not only a counselor but also a friend and a lifetime mentor.

B: Although Miss Yang doesnt teach me in school, she gives me a lot of inspiration and guidance in life at the church. Not only is Miss Yang a counselor to many Christians she is also a friend and a lifetime mentor to them.

A: Miss Yang has been praised for her kind-heartedness. She knows how to extract the goodwill from people, and she always teaches people by example.

A: Miss Yang has been praised for her kindheartedness. She knows how to bring out goodness in people, and she always teaches by example.

B: And she also puts a lot of emphasis on the cultivation of good and kind deeds. That is why she never hesitates to pinpoint where I went wrong if I made any mistakes.

B: And she also emphasizes on the cultivation of good deeds. This is why she never hesitates to point out my errors when I do make ones.

A: As Jesus disciplines those he loves, so does Miss Yang educate her students. You should thank her for that.

A: Just as Jesus disciplines those He loves, Miss Yang educates her students the same way. You should thank her for that.

B: I hope this card can let Miss Yang understand my gratitude and respect to her.

B: I hope this card will show Miss Yang my gratitude to and respect for her.

A: Well, a card is also worth a thousand words. Miss Yang will be more than happy when getting this card.

A: Well, a card is worth a thousand words. Miss Yang will be more than happy when she receives it.

MountainHiker · Accepted Answer

Hi bmo,

Those were difficult. My answers are below.

MountainHiker

*** A Mentor for Life ***

A: what a beautiful card! (reading the words from the card) To Miss Yang? So this is a birthday card to Miss Yang?

A: (Reading the card) What a beautiful card! Is it for Miss Yang? So this is a card for her birthday. OK

B: No. Her birthday is three months away. I will give her the card on Teachers Day.

B: No. Her birthday is three months away; I will give her this card on Teachers Day. Prefer the original. But it is okay.

A: That is very thoughtful of you to send a card to Miss Yang even though she doesnt teach you.

A: That is very thoughtful of you to be sending a card to Miss Yang even though she is not your teacher. OK

B: Well, I dont use teacher in the usual sense of the word, but apply it in a broader sense.

B: Well, I dont use teacher in the usual sense of the word, but I apply it in a broader sense. See my correction.

A: What do you mean by that?

B: Miss Yang does not teach me at school, but at the church, she does give me a lot of inspiration and guidance in life. To many Christians, Miss Yang is not only a counselor but also a friend and a lifetime mentor.

B: Although Miss Yang doesn't teach me in school, she gives me a lot of inspiration and guidance in life at the church. Not only is Miss Yang a counselor to many Christians but she is also a friend and a lifetime mentor to them. See slight corrections

A: Miss Yang has been praised for her kind-heartedness. She knows how to extract the goodwill from people, and she always teaches people by example.

A: Miss Yang has been praised for her kindheartedness. She knows how to bring out goodness in people, and she always teaches by example. OK

B: And she also puts a lot of emphasis on the cultivation of good and kind deeds. That is why she never hesitates to pinpoint where I went wrong if I made any mistakes.

B: And she also emphasizes on the cultivation of good deeds. Although she never hesitates to point out my errors, she always recognizes and rewards my acts of kindness and good deeds. See corrections.

A: As Jesus disciplines those he loves, so does Miss Yang educate her students. You should thank her for that.

A: Just as Jesus disciplines those He loves, Miss Yang disciplines her students. You should thank her for that. See corrections.

B: I hope this card can let Miss Yang understand my gratitude and respect to her.

B: I hope this card will show Miss Yang my gratitude and respect for her. slight changes

A: Well, a card is also worth a thousand words. Miss Yang will be more than happy when getting this card.

A: Well, a card is worth a thousand words. Miss Yang will be more than happy when she receives it. OK

BMO · Answer

Thank you so much; it is a lot of work for you.

MountainHiker · Answer

bmo,

Just spotted an error.

B: No. Her birthday is three months away; I will give her this card on Teacher's Day.

See, I told you these were difficult.

MountainHiker

BMO · Answer

Okay. I thought it was ok because we say a master's degree or a masters degree. I would like to ask something else if I may. It is the word extract. You wouldn't say extracting a goodwill from people, would you? Extracting has a negative connotation as in you are extracting information from a murder suspect (using all kinds of technique, including torture, harassment, etc.) forcibly. Am I right?

It seems that to send someone a card and to be sending someone a card are equivalent, but do you have a preference as far as my text is concerned?

Pinpoint my errors:

I used point out instead of pinpoint and you agreed. I think point out is better, whereas pinpoint is much more serious. What exactly is pointing out better than pinpoint in my text? I just think pinpoint is not quite right. (Pinpoint is again like solving a murder case?)

The first author: That is why she never hesitates to pinpoint where I went wrong if I made any mistakes.

I think where I went wrong and made any mistakes are redundant, am I right?

The first author: I hope this card can let Miss Yang understand my gratitude and respect to her.

Can let Miss yang. Can let doesn't sound like a native speaker's tone, right? You don't say understand my gratitude, would you? I think you say "know my graduate" but "understand a gratitue" doesn't sound right? Understand is not a right word here.

Do you say 'show my gratitude to someone' or 'show my gratitude for someone?' I thought it should be to, so I used 'show my gratitude to and respect for.'

I am still confused with to and for. This is for your own good. We used for here. Is it important to you or is it important for you to undretake this project?

MountainHiker · Answer

bmo,

You are asking very subtle points here, which is good.

1) I use Master's Degree.

2) I agree, extract does have a negative connotation. If you have to extract something from someone, it is likely unpleasant.

3) Send versus Sending as you have used it. You would need more context. If I saw you in a card store, then I might use "sending" because you are in the process of "sending." But I might use "send" if we were having a general discussion and you were mentioning that you were planning to shop for a card and later send it to your teacher. It is subtle. Sending is used when you are "in motion."

4) Pinpoint refer to a very specific detail or item. Think of a "pin" and then go to a map and stick the pin on where you live. You have "pinpointed" where you live.

To point out is to bring attention to. When Johnny and Sally went for dinner, Johnny failed to pull the chair out for Sally. I guess men are not gentlemen any longer.

Here is point out, but I do not pin point.

That Lawyer Johnny is sometimes careless. In reading over my contract I noticed that he failed to put the decimal in the purchase price. So rather than being 1200000.00 it was 120000000. Luckily I caught the error or I would be broke now having to pay a hundred times more than I expected.

Here the writer pinpointed the error of Lawyer Johnny. You could also say he pointed out the error. But here the writer is giving very specific and detailed information.

5) I think you did well overall. A person would have to pay close attention to find fault with any of your answers.

Hope this helps.

MountainHiker

BMO · Answer

Good Lord, you are fast. I was still modifying. Would you go back to add more explanations to the additions. I am learning. Thanks a lot.

MountainHiker · Answer

bmo,

Let me have my lunch and then I'll check again and revise as required.

MountainHiker

BMO · Answer

Thanks. This is fun and learning all at the same time. Did not have this much fun when I was a student back home, long, long, time ago.

MountainHiker · Answer

bmo,

#1 Question/Comment

The first author: I hope this card can let Miss Yang understand my gratitude and respect to her.

I think you say "know my graduate" but "understand a gratitue" doesn't sound right? Understand is not a right word here.

You're correct. I hope this card tells/shows/(signifies to) Miss Yang my gratitude and respect for her.

#2 Question/Comment

Is it important to you or is it important for you to undretake this project?

Hmmmm. Tough question. I am not completely positive my answer is accurate.

I prefer "for". I have a hunch that To versus For is simply a coin toss.

1) The money you get paid is important to you, isn't it?
2) The money you get paid is important for you, isn't it?

I think both are fine, though I have a slight preference for 1.

3) It is important for you to exercise daily.
4) It is important to you to exercise daily.

I prefer 3 over 4, but as I think of it carefully, I believe both are equally acceptable.

"It is important to you" - 13,700 Google hits
"It is important for you" - 101,000 Google hits

You might want to post this question in the grammar section. CalifJim or Mister Micawber could provide the correct rationale behind which words are correct to use when. Feel free to borrow my examples.

Hope this helps.

MountainHiker

BMO · Answer

Thanks, I will ask there.

This one you missed:

The first author: That is why she never hesitates to pinpoint where I went wrong if I made any mistakes.

I think "where I went wrong if I made any mistakes" are redundant, am I right?

Gee, I think I am getting better.

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