Ebonest Posted 10 years ago
Letter Writing
Does my first sentence make sense?
I am about to publish an academic article and below is the introduction sentence:
"Keeping energy consumption at a level as low as possible promises a better future for the world than producing more energy without saving, since climate change escalated by consumption of fossil fuel signals a sound threat to it."
I know it is a bit unnecessary to keep it long, but i think it would feel more elegant this way if i could make it gramatically and logically correct.
So, things i am unsure about are:
1) whether "producing more energy without saving" needs an object or pronoun
2) on the same matter with the first article, i initially wrote "producing more energy and saving it", but later in the sentence i use 'it' once to refer to 'the world', mentioned in the first part. so i decided to omit the first one. does it make sense?
3) if i never altered the sentence, what would one think that 'it' at the end stands for?
"Keeping energy consumption at a level as low as possible promises a better future for the world than producing more energy without saving, since climate change escalated by consumption of fossil fuel signals a sound threat to it."
I know it is a bit unnecessary to keep it long, but i think it would feel more elegant this way if i could make it gramatically and logically correct.
So, things i am unsure about are:
1) whether "producing more energy without saving" needs an object or pronoun
2) on the same matter with the first article, i initially wrote "producing more energy and saving it", but later in the sentence i use 'it' once to refer to 'the world', mentioned in the first part. so i decided to omit the first one. does it make sense?
3) if i never altered the sentence, what would one think that 'it' at the end stands for?
Top answer
Hello, Ebonest—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member. Ebonest producing more energy without saving That is unclear; what do you mean?
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Hello, Ebonest—and welcome to English Forums. Thank you for registering as a member.
Ebonest producing more energy without savingThat is unclear; what do you mean?
Ebonest i think it would feel more elegant this wayOh, dear! That is the first failing of intermediate learners.
Ebonest1) whether "prod
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Thank you for your reply, i decided not to be obsessed about it and break the sentence into two.
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