Anonymous Posted 10 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Could you do proofreading?
I translated Japanese articles into English. Could you do proofreading and check it if there are mistakes or not.
(1)
English people are highly health conscious. Parents are so conscious about their children’s health that they tend to buy low-fat food. Due to that tendency, many children are said to be rather malnourished .
Meanwhile, the complete opposite problems on eating habit that diabetes as well as obesity are becoming more serious
occured. .
It is the distress to British government.
(2)
Although the number of the heinous crime is low in U.K, that of the atrocious crime , such as the theft is very high.
English people ask their neighbors to care about their house whenever they are away from their home over a long period of time.
Some people have a security alarm installed at their home.
However , it is often said that if you fail to tell your neighbor your contact information or how to stop the alarm system when you are away, that causes troubles to your neighbors when the alarm keeps on ringing in some accidents.
(1)
English people are highly health conscious. Parents are so conscious about their children’s health that they tend to buy low-fat food. Due to that tendency, many children are said to be rather malnourished .
Meanwhile, the complete opposite problems on eating habit that diabetes as well as obesity are becoming more serious
occured. .
It is the distress to British government.
(2)
Although the number of the heinous crime is low in U.K, that of the atrocious crime , such as the theft is very high.
English people ask their neighbors to care about their house whenever they are away from their home over a long period of time.
Some people have a security alarm installed at their home.
However , it is often said that if you fail to tell your neighbor your contact information or how to stop the alarm system when you are away, that causes troubles to your neighbors when the alarm keeps on ringing in some accidents.
Top answer
Don't use so many concessive adjectives and adverbs. (1) English people are highly health conscious. Parents are so concerned about their children’s health that they buy low-fat foods, so many children are malnourished.
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Don't use so many concessive adjectives and adverbs.
(1)
English people are highly health conscious. Parents are so concerned about their children’s health that they buy low-fat foods, so many children are malnourished. At the same time, the opposite eating problems of diabetesand obesity are becoming more serious. This is distressing for the British government.
(1)
English people are highly health conscious. Parents are so concerned about their children’s health that they buy low-fat foods, so many children are malnourished. At the same time, the opposite eating problems of diabetesand obesity are becoming more serious. This is distressing for the British government.
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Thank you very much for taking your time. I also thank you for your advice,.
Can I ask you a question?
Why shouldn't I use too many concessive adverb / adjective?
Can I ask you a question?
Why shouldn't I use too many concessive adverb / adjective?
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AnonymousWhy shouldn't I use too many concessive adverb / adjective?They weaken your argument, statement or opinion. Leave that to the mind of your reader.
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