Correcting and Assessing A Letter

Question

Hi,I wrote a letter to a band which I uniquely like. I want you to see if there are any corrections I should make.Furthermore, I'd be glad if you assess this letter grammatically, pointing out whether this letter is well-written and coherent. I wish to develop my writing, and therefore I'm ready for any constructive criticism.Please note that both band's name and song's name I mentioned in this letter are totally fabricated.Your objective point of view regarding this letter would be welcomed. I don't want you to rewrite my sentences or the whole idea of the letter. I just want you to correct grammar errors that you find. Thank you!And here's the letter...Dear The Barons, "Where do I begin to tell the story of how great a song can be…?"My story begins two years ago, when I unintentionally heard your heart-rending song "Saved You", or only itsmelody, to be precise. I didn't know anything about The Barons and their songs. However, I definitely knewI would like to listen to the beautiful song I had accidentally heard that day. I put a lot of effort into finding this song, but didn't even find who wrote it. Absently, when I was surfing the network one day, I finally succeeded infinding the anticipated song. I have listened to it over and over again, and… What shall I say? I have been captured by its words and melody as well. Of course after my having heard this song I was led along with other enchanting songs of yours, which even enhanced my feelings regarding your songs' themes.It seems your songs involve within them emotions which can directly catch the attention of your listeners. Concerned with love, faith, happiness and sorrow, your songs accentuate the truth in life, while the beautiful melodies take over the mind. Zac, your singing is truly inspiring to whoever may start singing someday. Sincerity comes out of your songs every time I hear them. How long does it last? I have no answers now, but this much I can say. You are absolutely an accomplished and talented writer and singer. Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among stars. I wish you all the best and hope to hear your upcoming songs soon. Very truly yours, Jax

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Does nobody want helping me please?<img class='emoticon' style='Width:19px;Height:19px;' data-delaysrc='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/6.gif' src='https://uat-englishforward-forums-backend.s3.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/Emoticons/6.gif' alt='Emotion: sad'/>

Dimsumexpress · Answer

AnonymousHi,
I wrote a letter to a band which I uniquely like. I want you to see if there are any corrections I should make.
Furthermore, I'd be glad if you assess this letter grammatically, pointing out whether this letter is well-written and coherent. I wish to develop my writing, and therefore I'm ready for any constructive criticism.
Please note that both band's name and song's name I mentioned in this letter are totally fabricated.
Your objective point of view regarding this letter would be welcomed. I don't want you to rewrite my sentences or the whole idea of the letter. I just want you to correct grammar errors that you find. Thank you!

And here's the letter...

Dear The Barons, "Where do I begin to tell the story of how great a song can be…?"My story begins two years ago, when I unintentionally heard your heart-rending song "Saved You", or only itsmelody, to be precise. I didn't know anything about The Barons and their songs. However, I definitely knewI would like to listen to the beautiful song I had accidentally heard that day. I put a lot of effort into finding this song, but didn't even find who wrote it. Absently, when I was surfing the network one day, I finally succeeded infinding the anticipated song. I have listened to it over and over again, and… What shall I say? I have been captured by its words and melody as well. Of course after my having heard this song I was led along with other enchanting songs of yours, which even enhanced my feelings regarding your songs' themes.It seems your songs involve within them emotions which can directly catch the attention of your listeners. Concerned with love, faith, happiness and sorrow, your songs accentuate the truth in life, while the beautiful melodies take over the mind. Zac, your singing is truly inspiring to whoever may start singing someday. Sincerity comes out of your songs every time I hear them. How long does it last? I have no answers now, but this much I can say. You are absolutely an accomplished and talented writer and singer. Always shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among stars. I wish you all the best and hope to hear your upcoming songs soon. Very truly yours, Jax

Hi Anon,

Well, without scrutinizing the fine details, I'd say "looked good to me". All the important grammar elements are there: Capitalization, correct puntuations, correct clause construction and fluidity. I like the genuine admiration expressed in your words. I like it!

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, dimsumexpress. I appreciate your comment. I'm glad you found the letter coherent.

I truly attempted to express genuine feelings in this letter. So, didn't you find any grammatical corrections?

I must admit I expected to see more comments and opinions of users in this forum...

Thanks for your being honest though.

Regards

Anonymous · Answer

Are there any other comments over here?

I want to send this letter as soon as possible, but without absolutely knowing it has no corrections to be made I can't do so. I'd be happy to hear more opinions of people here. So please, if you think there are grammar errors in this letter, you are welcome to voice your opinion in this thread. Hopefully, there'll be more reactions from users here this time. I'm waiting to hear from you.

Regards

Anonymous · Answer

Why can't you help me? I wish to enhance my writing as this forum aims to doing, but without having your opinion I can't do so. Assuming any appropriate question has to be answered sometime, my question should have been answered already. I don't understand what's wrong with my question, as I clearly described it in this thread.

Even the forum's managers don't seem to help me for some reason.

Then I'll ask it again: Can you help me assessing this letter grammatically?

I'll be delighted to hear your thoughts about it.

Thank you.

AlpheccaStars · Answer

AnonymousAssuming any appropriate question has to be answered sometime, my question should have been answered already. I don't understand what's wrong with my question, as I clearly described it in this thread.

Hi Anon;

You did get an answer. I agree with it.

The teachers, programmers, administrators, and moderators here are all volunteers, so not every post will get an answer.

Anonymous · Answer

You're right; I did get an answer. However, I thought it'd be even more pleasant to me to have opinions of
other users too. I don't underestimate the answer I got, but people seem to have different point of views towards things, and therefore I had to post this thread again. You might think this letter seems to be well-written, whereas he
might think there are inappropriate sentences or words, which have to be left off. That's what sometimes could make or break a letter. I know whoever might have asked my question is a totally volunteer. Thus, I quite attempted to ask
my question politely. I see you agree with the first answer, so if you do, can you please provide further details? What did you like or dislike in the letter? Is the writing suitable for this kind of letter? Wasn't I too formal expressing
my feelings?

Thank you

Anonymous · Answer

AnonymousYou're right; I did get an answer. However, I thought it'd be even more pleasant to me to have opinions ofother users too. I don't underestimate the answer I got, but people seem to have different point of views towards things, and therefore I had to post this thread again. You might think this letter seems to be well-written, whereas hemight think there are inappropriate sentences or words, which have to be left off. That's what sometimes could make or break a letter. I know whoever might have answered my question is a totally volunteer. Thus, I quite attempted to askmy question politely. I see you agree with the first answer, so if you do, can you please provide further details? What did you like or dislike in the letter? Is the writing suitable for this kind of letter? Wasn't I too formal expressingmy feelings?
Thank you

AlpheccaStars · Answer

HI;

It seems like this letter is very important to you.

It is a good letter, and it reflects your feelings and opinions.

What is the purpose for your letter? What do you expect if you send it to the band?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, it is. Thank you for sharing your opinion with me.

The purpose of this letter is to truly express my feelings towards the band. That's how I can cherish the hard work of them. I don't expect them to send back their response - if they ever do - as I assume many people are writing to them throughout the world. However, I want them to excite when reading this letter. I want them to simply feel good and satisfied with their current work and the work yet to come. It is a "thank you" letter.

Hopefully, you've got it now.

Correcting and Assessing A Letter

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