Corporate Sponsor Letter- Review ?

Hello,

This is the first time posting anything... anywhere. I was wondering if someone could take a look at a corporate sponsor letter I am working on. I'm not sure if I have persuaded or convince the person reading the letter to sponsor me.

Any feed back would be wonderful

Thank you.

_________________________________________________________________

To whom it may concern,



My name is _________; I am a Business Administration student at the ______. This year I am given the opportunity to participate in the “___ at Oxford” program, a week-long academic seminar hosted by the University of Oxford and coordinated by School of Business Administration at ____. The seminar, titled “Global Enterprise Management,” will be held during Spring Break 2011 and holds invaluable experience for a business student like me.



This program is the perfect opportunity to connect my studies at ____ with real-life international exposure, as we visit Siemens Magnet Corporation, in ___, and explore strategic issues that multinational firms and managers encounter in a global market place.



In the endeavor to complete this coveted program, I'm seeking for financial sponsors to help me manage the expenses of the program.



Financial costs for the “___ at Oxford” program are broken down as follows:

$3,150: Program Fees

$1,000: Transportation (This is an approximate cost)

$400: Incidentals (This is an approximate costs)



In case you need more information, feel free to contact me. I'm looking forward for your help and support.









Sincerely,





_____