Competitive sports- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

Question

0Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum, I don’t totally agree with the opinion.02br02br02br00Maybe the most of school sports curriculum are not so competitive such as running, swimming and dancing. Even though, these are still competitive. As for running, students are still ranked b the time recorded, which I think good to improve from the children’s original ability because running alone is not exciting and bored, the time record won’t good in that situation. Though, if the children run with someone, competitor, this might make the race excited and fives the power into it, which will lead to the better score than doing it alone. This might work also for the competitor, and this help increase the skill for both of them.02br02br02br02br00I also had team sport curriculum such as succor and volleyball. In these sports, the ball would represent “responsibility”, when the ball comes in front of you, you have to deal with it carefully, and give best judge whether pass it to other player in your team or shoot it to get a team point. Even not when you have the ball or the ball is not around you, you constantly watch where the ball is and try to see how the game is going on, and move to the position where might be the best portion to get a score. In this team play, the energy tend to summed up and heated easily. 02br02br00I simply imagine boxing and judo for the word “competitive sports”, these require fighting spirit, even though, in my opinion, this is required for all the sports. Even for ballet dance, you have to concentrate by yourself and create and express your own world, you have to fight for pressure and fight against your competitor.02br02br0-

Julielai · Accepted Answer

Highlighted a few glaring errors for you.

Anonymous
Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum, I don’t totally agree with the opinion.

Maybe ~~the~~ most of school sports ~~curriculum~~ are not so competitive such as running, swimming and dancing (is that sports?). ~~Even though, these are still competitive.~~ As for running, students are still ranked b the time recorded, which I think good to improve from the children’s original ability because running alone is not exciting ~~and bored, the time record won’t good in that situation~~. ~~Though,~~ if the children run with someone~~, competitor,~~ this might make the race excited ~~and fives the power into it~~, which will lead to the better score than doing it alone. ~~This might work also for the competitor, and this help increase the skill for both of them.~~

I ~~also~~ had ~~team sport curriculum such as~~ succor and volleyball. In these sports, the ball would represent “responsibility”, when the ball comes in front of you, you have to deal with it ~~carefully~~, and ~~give best~~ judge whether to pass it to another player in your team or shoot it to get a team point. ~~Even not when you have the ball or the ball is not around you,~~ And you constantly watch where the ball is and try to see how the game is going on, and move to the position where might be the best portion to get a score. In ~~this~~ team play, the energy tend to summed up and heated easily.

~~I simply imagine~~ In boxing and judo ~~for the word “competitive sports~~”, ~~these require~~ you need a fighting spirit, even though, in my opinion, this is required for all the sports. Even for ballet dance, you have to concentrate by yourself and create and express your own world~~, you have to fight for pressure and fight against your competitor~~.

Anonymous · Answer

hi Julielai,

thank you for your attention. i corected the sentences you highlighted.

Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum, I don’t totally agree with the opinion.

Maybe the most of school sports curriculum are not so competitive such as running, swimming and volleyball (is that sports? Dancing is a physical activity but I do not know. Thank you for attention). Even though, these are still competitive. As for running, students are still ranked by the time recorded, which I think helps to improve the children’s ability because running alone is not exciting and bored, the time record won’t good in that situation. Though, if the children run with someone, competitor, this might make the race get excited and fives the power into it, which will lead to get better score than doing it alone. This might work also for the competitor, and this help increase the skill for both of them.

I also had team sport curriculum such as succor and volleyball. In these sports, the ball would represent “responsibility”, when the ball comes in front of you, you have to deal with it carefully, and give best judge whether to pass it to another player in your team or shoot it to get a team point. Even not when you have the ball or the ball is not around you, And you constantly watch where the ball is and try to see how the game is going on, and move to the position where might be the best portion to achieve team points. In this team play, the each player’s energy got together and easily heated up.

I simply imagine In boxing and judo for the word “competitive sports”, these require you need a fighting spirit, even though, in my opinion, this is required for all the sports. Even for ballet dance, you have to concentrate by yourself and create and express your own world, you have to fight for pressure and fight against your competitor.

Anonymous · Answer

I apologize I posted this in a wrong section.

Some people believe that competitive sports, both team and individual, have no place in the school curriculum, I don’t totally agree with the opinion.

Maybe the most of school sports curriculum are not so competitive such as running, swimming and volleyball (is that sports? Dancing is a physical activity but I do not know. Thank you for attention). Even though, these are still competitive. As for running, students are still ranked by the time recorded, which I think helps to improve the children’s ability because running alone is not exciting and bored, the time record won’t good in that situation. Though, if the children run with someone, competitor, this might make the race get excited and fives the power into it, which will lead to get better score than doing it alone. This might work also for the competitor, and this help increase the skill for both of them.

I also had team sport curriculum such as succor and volleyball. In these sports, the ball would represent “responsibility”, when the ball comes in front of you, you have to deal with it carefully, and give best judge whether to pass it to another player in your team or shoot it to get a team point. Even not when you have the ball or the ball is not around you, And you constantly watch where the ball is and try to see how the game is going on, and move to the position where might be the best portion to achieve team points. In this team play, the each player’s energy got together and easily heated up.

I simply imagine In boxing and judo for the word “competitive sports”, these require you need a fighting spirit, even though, in my opinion, this is required for all the sports. Even for ballet dance, you have to concentrate by yourself and create and express your own world, you have to fight for pressure and fight against your competitor.

Julielai · Answer

Your revision includes the parts I took out with ~~ddddddd (~~my strikethroughs).

Competitive sports- could you please check this essay out. Thank you!

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