Chiara Posted 19 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
Chiara/ could you please correct my writing?
0 Hello, I made some improvements on my text, if you want to give any piece of advice, correction, comment, 02 br
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00 I'd be very grateful. Thanks a lot, Chiara 02 br
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00 Competition 02 br
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00 Think about the place where you live, work or study. Is there a leisure facility which you think it needs? An art gallery? A sports centre?... 02 br
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00 You should: 02 br
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00 -say what leisure facility you would like and why you think it is needed 02 br
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00 -describe in detail what you would like the leisure facility to provide 02 br
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00 -explain which groups of peopl in your community would most benefit form this facility. 02 br
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00 Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city. 02 br
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00 It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town. 02 br
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00 I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time. 02 br
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00 Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art. 02 br
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00 Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings. 02 br
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00 Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children, who want to learn new arts. 02 br
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00 Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend. 02 br
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00 The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends. 0-
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00 I'd be very grateful. Thanks a lot, Chiara 02 br
02 br
00 Competition 02 br
02 br
00 Think about the place where you live, work or study. Is there a leisure facility which you think it needs? An art gallery? A sports centre?... 02 br
02 br
00 You should: 02 br
02 br
00 -say what leisure facility you would like and why you think it is needed 02 br
02 br
00 -describe in detail what you would like the leisure facility to provide 02 br
02 br
00 -explain which groups of peopl in your community would most benefit form this facility. 02 br
02 br
00 Florence is world famous for its monuments and museums. But for people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city. 02 br
02 br
00 It's easy to see it during the weekends when, a part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence seems a ghost town. 02 br
02 br
00 I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time. 02 br
02 br
00 Firstly it should provide all kind of good international exhibitions from painting to photography, from sculpture to contemporary art. 02 br
02 br
00 Secondly it should organise other type of cultural events, as music concerts and movies, cultural conferences and meetings. 02 br
02 br
00 Thirdly it should offer workshops, either for adults and for children, who want to learn new arts. 02 br
02 br
00 Finally the Art Centre should have a bookshop, a coffeshop and hopefully a park, open seven days a week, for all those people who want to go and read a newspaper, have a good slice of cake, or just meet a friend. 02 br
02 br
00 The birth of an Art Centre in town would definitely bring a breath of fresh air for all groups of the community: adults, children and elder people, either Italians and foreigners, who would find a new exciting place to go and meet new friends. 0-
Top answer
0 Florence is 00 world famous 00 for its monuments and museums. 02 br 02 br 00 I think a nice and modern Art Centre would be a great help to improve the quality of all citizens' spare time. The highlight between words mean that you have forgetten a punctuation rule there.
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0 Florence is 00 world famous 00 for its monuments and museums. 00 But for 00 people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city. 02 br
02 br
00 It's easy to see it during the weekends 00 when, a 00 part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence 00 seems a ghost town. 02 br
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00 It's easy to see it during the weekends 00 when, a 00 part the hordes of turists and new migrants crowding the narrow streets of the centre, Florence 00 seems a ghost town. 02 br
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01 cite 10 Doll 12 cite 10 Florence is 10 world famous 10 for its monuments and museums. 11 font 10 But for 12 font 10 people living here it is very difficult to enjoy their spare time in the city. 12 br
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10 It's easy to see it during the weekends 11 f
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0 Hello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please? 02 br
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00 Florence is 00 world famous 00 for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?" 02 br
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00 But for 00 people living here ... I can't start a new sentence with "but". Could I have continued with a comma? 02 b
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00 Florence is 00 world famous 00 for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?" 02 br
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00 But for 00 people living here ... I can't start a new sentence with "but". Could I have continued with a comma? 02 b
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01 cite 10 Chiara 12 cite 10 Hello Doll, hello Feebs, thank you very much for your help. May I try to correct and ask some questions, please? 12 br
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10 Florence is 10 world famous 10 for its monuments and museums... is it "world-famous?"[Y] 12 br
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11 font
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0 Hello Feebs, I'm a bit ashamed to confess you that is for... ehm ehm.... CAE! 02 br
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00 It is a Competion letter, do you think it's too informal for such a task? 02 br
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00 I know my writing level is below CAE. I asked to check my level and I was told I could apply for CAE, but they didn't chek my writing at all. I was a little impulsive, I think, and I
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00 It is a Competion letter, do you think it's too informal for such a task? 02 br
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00 I know my writing level is below CAE. I asked to check my level and I was told I could apply for CAE, but they didn't chek my writing at all. I was a little impulsive, I think, and I
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0 Chiara just work hard writing good essays are not a hard thing at all. 05 0 00 Just know the key rules and read English books. Everything will happen slowly. While you are going on a bus note down the thoughts passing in your mind. This will help a lot 05 1 00 Good luck. 010id 111id 1
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0 I just have a comment on the 01 i 00 world famous 02 i 00 part. The following is the style in the U.S. It may not apply elsewhere. 02 br
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00 Use a hyphen if it the phrase comes before a noun. It's a 01 i 00 world-class restaurant 02 i 00 . But when it's a subject complemnt, 01 u 00 don't 02 u 00 use it. That restaurant is 0
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00 Use a hyphen if it the phrase comes before a noun. It's a 01 i 00 world-class restaurant 02 i 00 . But when it's a subject complemnt, 01 u 00 don't 02 u 00 use it. That restaurant is 0
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0 Thank you Doll for your suggestion. Unfortunately I don't have so much time to improve, but I'll do my best. And then, if I don't pass the exam, I hope I'll be able to do it again another time. 02 br
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00 Thanks to G. Geek for your explanation, I appreciate your help. It's a Cambridge exam, I don't have any idea if Am. and Brit. English share the same grammar rule about hyph
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00 Thanks to G. Geek for your explanation, I appreciate your help. It's a Cambridge exam, I don't have any idea if Am. and Brit. English share the same grammar rule about hyph
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