USF Posted 11 years ago
Science & IT
Check this paragraph please
Hi guys,
Could you please check this paragraph for fluency of language and errors, and suggest appropriate corrections?
Thank you.
It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors on their daily lives. It crawls into every aspects of our lives and we see them as normal while it was not twenty years ago. Then again, if this technology would be subtracted from their lives, the absence is sensed clearly; as Marcia Riley said: "Ubiquitous computing, or calm technology, is a paradigm shift where technology becomes virtually invisible in our lives". Most phones have a GPS signal receivers or accelerometers and you can share your location, and measure the distance you have traveled, and even you can count the steps you took. Now, home scales, can upload your weight to a website, and review your progress in your smartphone. [1] These are humble preview of what ubiquitous sensors brought to us. But they can perform even more critical rule in our lives. Medical professionals believe that one of the best ways to detect emerging medical conditions before they become critical is to look for changes in the activities of daily living (ADLs), instrumental ADLs (IADLs) [2] and enhanced ADLs (EADLs) [3]. Many devices those monitor by human, like microphones or cameras, can be invasive, and violate one’s privacy. However, a medical 24/7 care system, which would not violate one’s privacy, could be done by putting sensors to monitor one’s activity is more tolerable. With this information, a doctor can analyze the pattern, or be alerted by a program designed to recognize breaking a regular pattern, when for instance the person spends more time than usual in his bed, a call can be made and ask him if there is any problem [4].
Could you please check this paragraph for fluency of language and errors, and suggest appropriate corrections?
Thank you.
It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors on their daily lives. It crawls into every aspects of our lives and we see them as normal while it was not twenty years ago. Then again, if this technology would be subtracted from their lives, the absence is sensed clearly; as Marcia Riley said: "Ubiquitous computing, or calm technology, is a paradigm shift where technology becomes virtually invisible in our lives". Most phones have a GPS signal receivers or accelerometers and you can share your location, and measure the distance you have traveled, and even you can count the steps you took. Now, home scales, can upload your weight to a website, and review your progress in your smartphone. [1] These are humble preview of what ubiquitous sensors brought to us. But they can perform even more critical rule in our lives. Medical professionals believe that one of the best ways to detect emerging medical conditions before they become critical is to look for changes in the activities of daily living (ADLs), instrumental ADLs (IADLs) [2] and enhanced ADLs (EADLs) [3]. Many devices those monitor by human, like microphones or cameras, can be invasive, and violate one’s privacy. However, a medical 24/7 care system, which would not violate one’s privacy, could be done by putting sensors to monitor one’s activity is more tolerable. With this information, a doctor can analyze the pattern, or be alerted by a program designed to recognize breaking a regular pattern, when for instance the person spends more time than usual in his bed, a call can be made and ask him if there is any problem [4].
Top answer
It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors on their daily lives. It crawls into every aspects of our lives and we see them as normal while it was not so twenty years ago. Then again, if this technology would be were removed subtracted from their lives , the absence is sensed clearly; as Marcia Riley said: "Ubiquitous computing, or calm technology, is a paradigm shift where technology becomes virtually invisible in our lives".
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It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors on their daily lives. It crawls into every aspects of our lives and we see them as normal while it was not so twenty years ago. Then again, if this technology would be
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Thank you very much, would you please... check the result please?
It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors in their daily lives. They earned their places every aspect of our lives and we see them as normal while it
It might be hard for people to recognize the presence of ubiquitous sensors in their daily lives. They earned their places every aspect of our lives and we see them as normal while it
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They impact every aspect of our lives and we see them as normal while it was not so twenty years ago.
These are a few previews of what ubiquitous sensors have brought (will bring?) to us.
But they can perform even more critical roles in our lives.
Many devicesmonitored by human, (which monitor human activities) li
These are a few previews of what ubiquitous sensors have brought (will bring?) to us.
But they can perform even more critical roles in our lives.
Many devices
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Thank you very much. I am still embarrassed about the "rule". I think I am thinking in my language still. I correct the phone call sentence as this:
With this information, a doctor can analyze the pattern. For instance when the person spends more time than usual in bed, a call can be made by the doctor and ask him if there is any problem. [4]
With this information, a doctor can analyze the pattern. For instance when the person spends more time than usual in bed, a call can be made by the doctor and ask him if there is any problem. [4]
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USFI correct the phone call sentence as this:The phone call is still asking the fellow in your sentence.
For instance when the person spends more time than usual in bed, a call can be made by a doctor who can ask him if there is any problem.
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I got it thank you.
Would it be OK if I omit who and can?
For instance when the person spends more time than usual in bed, a call can be made by a doctor asking him if there is any problem.
Would it be OK if I omit who and can?
For instance when the person spends more time than usual in bed, a call can be made by a doctor asking him if there is any problem.
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USFWould it be OK if I omit who and can?Not in the original sentence. The participle is OK, and so is the to-infinitive.
When the person spends more time than usual in bed, a doctor can make a call to ask him...
When the person spends more time than usual in bed, a doctor can make a call asking him...
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