Check my Descriptive paragraph for me please.

Question

Any other ideas on a title please let me know: ) its a descriptive paragraph on michael jordan.

NBA Legend With a Good Heart

Michael Jordan was an outstanding basketball player, he was also well known for his great accomplishments and his good heart. He was the best basketball player in the NBA. He was a 5-time most valuable player, won 6 NBA titles with the Chicago Bulls, and was ranked first in scoring average when he retired. He was brought up to be good hearted responsible and very dependable. Unlike most superstar athletes, his parents did not push him to be a superstar. His parents pushed him to be a good person with strong moral character, confidence, and high self esteem. He turned out to be very passionate and giving. He created a charitable foundation called the Michael Jordan Foundation. It supported charities and also created events for many communities. The foundation donated 5 million dollars to the National Foundation for the Improvement of Education. These are some of the reasons why Michael Jordan is known for his outstanding basketball skills and also his good heart.

BarbaraPA · Accepted Answer

Hi Bilsonx,

NBA Legend With a Good Heart

Michael Jordan was an outstanding basketball player, ~~he was also~~ well known for his great accomplishments and his good heart. He was the best basketball player in the NBA. He was a 5-time Most Valuable Player, won 6 NBA titles with the Chicago Bulls, and was ranked first in scoring average when he retired. He was brought up to be good-hearted, responsible and very dependable. Unlike most [many?] superstar athletes, he was not pushed by his parents to be a great athlete, but rather to be a good person with strong moral character, confidence, and high self esteem. He turned out to be very passionate and giving. He created a charitable foundation called the Michael Jordan Foundation. It supported charities and also created events [this is too vague. what type of events?] for many communities. The foundation donated 5 million dollars to the National Foundation for the Improvement of Education. These are some of the reasons why Michael Jordan is known for his outstanding basketball skills and also his good heart.

Overall, a nice job.

Anonymous · Answer

thanks that helped alot

Bilsonx · Answer

Does this look ok?

NBA Legend with a Good Heart

Michael Jordan was an outstanding basketball player, well known for his great accomplishments and his good heart. He was the best basketball player in the NBA. He was a 5-time Most Valuable Player, won 6 NBA titles with the Chicago Bulls, and was ranked first in scoring average when he retired. He was brought up to be good-hearted, responsible and very dependable. Unlike many superstar athletes, he was not pushed by his parents to be a great athlete, but rather to be a good person with strong moral character, confidence, and high self esteem. He turned out to be very passionate and giving. He created a charitable foundation called the Michael Jordan Foundation. It supported charities and also created events for youth such as Minor League Baseball teams, basketball teams and other fun things for the youth to participate in. Michael Jordan’s foundation donated 5 million dollars to the National Foundation for the Improvement of Education. These are some of the reasons why Michael Jordan is known for his outstanding basketball skills and also his good heart.

Anonymous · Answer

you need to include the five sense(sight, touch,smell, hear , and tastes)

Check my Descriptive paragraph for me please.

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