Sion Marx Posted 15 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

Apllication letter for University College Utrecht.

I am currently writing my appliction letter for University College Utrecht, and I know I am not nearly done however I am a bit stuck on how to continue or what to scrap or elaborate on.

In the guideline they ask to answer these questions:
- Why would you like to study at University College
- What fields of study do you find most interesting and why?
- Do you have any relevant working experience or social activities
- What are your interests with regard to (or regardless of) your current education?
- What are your plans after finishing University College
- Are there any circumstances not evident in your application that may have affected your academic performance

And I am currently torn about how to answer the last question, I have written a very short paragraph answering this question but I feel that it will give more questions than answers. My problem is that I want to be as honest as possible in answering this question but if I explain everything it will be a letter that either nobody is going to read due to it's length or I will create the impression that I am asking for a sympathy vote, neither of which I would like to leave behind as a first impression.
The other option would be to only tell about my illness and don't mention anything else but it will leave them wondering why my academic career took such an unusual path.

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I am writing to apply for the Bachelor of Liberal Arts degree program in the Science department. At University College Utrecht I want to gain a wide scope of knowledge to better prepare for my future career as a doctor.

Ever since I was young I have had two dreams, I always wanted to become a doctor and I have always wanted to see and travel the world. But it wasn't till last year that I realized where I wanted my future to go.

In the previous academic year I became very ill, which made me think about all major decisions I have made. It dawned on me that I didn't make these decisions for myself but rather for other people. However it took a near death experience to finally realize I had to live life for myself. At that moment I felt completely powerless in a country with one of the best healthcare systems in the world. But if I felt powerless here how does someone feel who isn't blessed to be born in a world where healthcare is taken for granted. That was my moment of clarity, the moment all the pieces fell together.
Unfortunately I did not act on this new knowledge until summer, which I spent studying Spanish in Barcelona. Being alone gave me a lot of time to think about how to proceed in life and it gave me a new perspective on my future. Here I learned that even though I made the wrong decisions in the past it doesn't mean I have to continue this path. I still have time to change these decisions and work towards the future I want.

---Missing---

In my life I have had multiple setbacks which have greatly impacted my academic performance. One of these was me being ill last year, however I feel that it is not possible to elaborate further on these setbacks in this letter due to the extensive nature of these setbacks.

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I would greatly appreciate all of your feedback.
  

Top answer

Hi Sion; Welcome to the Forums! Your short paragraph is excellent. The only additional things you might say are something like this: - the illness caused me to drop out of a semester (or whatever the facts are) - I have completely recovered, but the experience gave me an acute appreciation of life and my goals ...

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3 Answers
0
Hi Sion;
Welcome to the Forums!

Your short paragraph is excellent. The only additional things you might say are something like this:

- the illness caused me to drop out of a semester (or whatever the facts are)
- I have completely recovered, but the experience gave me an acute appreciation of life and my goals ...

Regards,
A-
0
Thank you for your feedback, I have changed the paragraph a bit and added a paragraph. I think I just need a better transition between some of the paragraphs.

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Address Line 1
Address Line 2

January 30, 2011,

University College
Office of Admissions
P.O. Box 80145

Utrecht, 3508TC

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writin
0
Hi Sion Marx; I've taken the liberty to make many suggestions, please excuse the heavy hand. Your writing was fine, but there might be some ideas for you to use in polishing your letter.

A-