Anonymous Posted 16 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing
An essay
Hello,
Could you please correct my mistakes in this short essay. It`s not even an essay. I just had to talk about my favourite short story.
My favourite subject at school was always literatute. I like novels, poems, short stories.
My favouvrite short story is Maugham`s "The Unconquered." First of all because I like his style, the way he describes the relationship between people in this story. His dialogs are always very emotional.
I think the key to understanding why this short story is different from others lies in the whole content.
He was a very good psychologist and this makes "The Unconquered" so interesting. The relationships between all the heroes are very deep. The situation is very complicated.
The ending of the story makes it unique.
I think what she did is even worse than what the soldier did.
Thank you
Could you please correct my mistakes in this short essay. It`s not even an essay. I just had to talk about my favourite short story.
My favourite subject at school was always literatute. I like novels, poems, short stories.
My favouvrite short story is Maugham`s "The Unconquered." First of all because I like his style, the way he describes the relationship between people in this story. His dialogs are always very emotional.
I think the key to understanding why this short story is different from others lies in the whole content.
He was a very good psychologist and this makes "The Unconquered" so interesting. The relationships between all the heroes are very deep. The situation is very complicated.
The ending of the story makes it unique.
I think what she did is even worse than what the soldier did.
Thank you
Top answer
Other than your using British spelling (favourite vs. favorite), the problem with this essay is not the grammar of individual sentences. The problem is that you need to link the sentences together, so that one thought flows out of the next.
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Other than your using British spelling (favourite vs. favorite), the problem with this essay is not the grammar of individual sentences. The problem is that you need to link the sentences together, so that one thought flows out of the next. You also need to give details, not generalities. Only the last line gives a detail (and we don't know what it means unless we also have read the story.)
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Doctor D, I'm a little curious as to why the British spelling of "favourite" became a concern that you altered to improve the content of the essay?
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Hello,
Thank you so much. I am asked to speak about it in a section of the TOEFL test. But the problem is that I don`t know wheather I am allowed to present an essay that has already been corrected. Is that fair?
Could you help me please?
Thank you so much. I am asked to speak about it in a section of the TOEFL test. But the problem is that I don`t know wheather I am allowed to present an essay that has already been corrected. Is that fair?
Could you help me please?
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I automatically standardize spelling (just for my peace of mind). Also, I am not sure if the British spelling "favour" is standard there or simply an acceptable variation.
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I cannot tell you what is acceptable in this case. Perhaps there is someone in authority whom you could ask.
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