Mikeseiko Posted 20 years ago
Grammar
Alumni Thank You Note help
Hi,
I am writing a Thank You to some important alum's for visiting our school, and feel that this may be a little wordy. How could I shorten and make it sound more professional, without losing much content.
See Below:
Dear Peter,
I enjoyed our meeting and discussion regarding your career in finance. Thank you for taking the time to attend SLU on November 1-3. Your advise to produce a product that accounts for my hard work and dedication, and to acquire a CFA, is very well taken. I came away from our lunch introduction in the lobby of Dana, the panel discussion, the investment club and Tick Tock discussion with much information and even more passion. Dimitry mentioned to me that you would be very enthusiastic and a great contact, I am glad I found that to be true. Continuing to have this communication, if you should think of anything else or hear of any opportunities that you feel may help my pursuit of a career in finance, please feel free to contact. I thank you and look forward to speaking with you again.
Best Regards,
Mike
I am writing a Thank You to some important alum's for visiting our school, and feel that this may be a little wordy. How could I shorten and make it sound more professional, without losing much content.
See Below:
Dear Peter,
I enjoyed our meeting and discussion regarding your career in finance. Thank you for taking the time to attend SLU on November 1-3. Your advise to produce a product that accounts for my hard work and dedication, and to acquire a CFA, is very well taken. I came away from our lunch introduction in the lobby of Dana, the panel discussion, the investment club and Tick Tock discussion with much information and even more passion. Dimitry mentioned to me that you would be very enthusiastic and a great contact, I am glad I found that to be true. Continuing to have this communication, if you should think of anything else or hear of any opportunities that you feel may help my pursuit of a career in finance, please feel free to contact. I thank you and look forward to speaking with you again.
Best Regards,
Mike
Top answer
I enjoyed our meeting and discussion regarding your career in finance. Thank you for taking the time to attend SLU on November 1-3. Your advice to produce a product that showcases my hard work and dedication, and to acquire a CFA, is very well taken.
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I enjoyed our meeting and discussion regarding your career in finance. Thank you for taking the time to attend SLU on November 1-3. Your advice to produce a product that showcases my hard work and dedication, and to acquire a CFA, is very well taken. I came away from our lunch introduction in Dana's lobby, the p
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