A very short poem

Question

Hi friends,I've translated the following poem from Turkish to English. As you see, I'm a terrible poet. I appreciate ANY help with it. If there is any way to make it look like a poem with this wording , please tell me. Thank you very much. “Be like the sun when it comes to love Be like the river when it comes to frienship and brotherhood, Be like the night when it comes to concealing the flaws Be like the earth when it comes to modesty, Be like the death when it comes to rage. Whatever you are yourself, you should show (reveal) what you truly are Or you should truly be the one you show (reveal)                                                                     Mevlânâ

Doctor D · Accepted Answer

If you want a more "poetic" version, you must recast the poem in your own words. (A word-for-word translation, keeping the original structure, will miss the heart.) Do you understand the poem well enough to do this? I only have your translation, so I know I am missing some of the meaning. However, if you want a sample, here is how I might rewrite the poem:

Let your love be like the sun,
And your friendships, like a river flowing;
Like the night, conceal all flaws,
And, like the earth, embrace modesty:
Until your rage has found its death.

Whatever you are, reveal it,
Or become the face you show.

I hope this helps.

Ilksen1969 · Answer

You are very right. And thank you very much for your wording, it really wonderfully helps.

:-)))

A very short poem

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