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A5552 Posted 21 years ago
Essay & Composition Writing

A foreign English learner needs your editing on his letter (letter no. 2)

0 Hi, 02br
02br
00I've been to Korea, Japan, Thailand and a couple of European countries. 02br
02br
00Korea is a good destination. 02br
02br
00Are you going to any theme parks? 02br
00Comparing to the Disneyland in Tokyo, the theme parks in Korea are much less crowded and if you fancy the rides, you wouldn't have to queue up for too long. 02br
02br
00I think Korea is more relaxing than Tokyo which is sort of like Causeway Bay. 02br
02br
00Don't worry too much about the result. I think you will be admitted. 02br
02br
00I think you are a naughty girl. 02br
00I can tell from your naughty photos, especially the one with a tie being worn. 02br
02br
00Finally, I hope you can have an enjoyable trip. 02br
00Bye, 0-
  

Top answer

0 Dear Falang, 02br 02br 00Your letter is difficult to edit because a) it is hard to decipher what your main purpose for sending this lettr is, and b) you included details such as the "naughty girl" part which presupppse that the reader knows what you are talking about. e. naughty girl).

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6 Answers
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0 Dear Falang, 02br
02br
00Your letter is difficult to edit because a) it is hard to decipher what your main purpose for sending this lettr is, and b) you included details such as the "naughty girl" part which presupppse that the reader knows what you are talking about. 02br
02br
00Please let me know a) why you are writing this letter and r) if you really
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0
0 Dear Falang, 02br
02br
00a) Please see my previous posting for the meaning of the letter 02br
00r) Any personal particulars, if any, is not real. Once again, please see my previous post. 02br
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0 Sorry old boy, 02br
02br
00 Danged if I'm going to bend over seeking out your threads just to figure out what you're writing about. It's not obvious in your letter and that's that. 02br
02br
00 Furthermore, your letter comes across as morse code. You're playing verbal footsies with recipient at the end of the letter yet the register at the star
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0 The girl was wearing a tie in a party pretending to be hanged. 02br
00I don't know why you think it is footsies. 02br
00Perhaps, its because your mind is full of dirty things. 02br
00And I don't know why you are behaving so rude. 02br
00I know that a lot of Philipino don't like Hong Kong people because they have to work here as domestic helpers
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0 You should keep your arguments on the letter you presented for "editing" and keep it there. I did. Firstly, it isn't clear if you're seeking grammar correction or form. Since your grammar is passable I assumed form. If form were the case however, the cryptic "naughty" you put in at the end of the letter throws off the the whole register of the letter. 02br
02br
00Now it is
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0 Please stop this squabble now. 0-
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