Question

My future goalMy future goal is to help me get to where I can grow and, therefore, serving humanity since serving others is the greatest educational discipline. I have no intention of studying in Saudi universities as I want to experience new life styles and educational systems. Having the chance to see and share the different perspective on my major that might not yet have been expressed/covered in Saudi universities classes. In addition, I am societal and enjoy meeting people from other cultures and different countries. I will feel comfortable with international students. And studying abroad is a great benefit that, for example, levels up my personal confidence and have some independence. Finally, have I been given a chance to study in your university, I will implement what I learn in everyday living and pass them on.Are ideas clearly expressed? Would you check its grammar and word choice?

Teechr · Accepted Answer

Odessa DawnAre ideas clearly expressed?

I'm afraid not. I suggest you rewrite it in a simpler and more direct way.

Odessa Dawn · Answer

Hi teechr;

How is it now?

My future goal is to pursue my higher education in most of the reputable universities. Besides, to get to where I can grow and, therefore, sharing what I learn to serve humanity as it is the greatest educational discipline. Having the chance of sharing different perspective on my major that might not yet have been covered/discussed at my home country. In addition, I am societal and enjoy meeting people from other cultures and different countries that might level up my personal confidence and have some independence. So, I will feel comfortable with international students.

Teechr · Answer

It's not much better. Are you translating directly from another language? If so, that doesn't work.
Rewrite is using simpler expressions/sentences. Consider even using point form.

Odessa Dawn · Answer

Thank you teechr.

My future goal

? getting to where I can grow
? pursuing my higher education in most of the reputable universities
? sharing what I learn to serve humanity because it is the greatest educational discipline
? having the chance of sharing different perspective on my major that might not yet covered at my home country.
? I enjoy meeting people from other cultures and different countries that might level up my personal confidence and have some independence
? I will feel comfortable with international students.

***
Are you translating directly from another language?

Yes.

Teechr · Answer

Odessa DawnAre you translating directly from another language?Yes.

That usually doesn't work. The above sounds like waffle; it lacks substance.

Odessa Dawn · Answer

Should I rewrite the post to make it meaningful?

Teechr · Answer

Yes, that would be a good idea.

Odessa Dawn · Answer

My future goal is 1) to get to where I can grow to an international average and excel academically, 2) to have an adequate education pushing me up to the quality scale, 3) to allocate enough resources help continue to my research, 4) to have the chance of sharing different perspective on my major that might not yet have been covered at my home country, and 5) to meet people from other cultures and different countries to level up my personal confidence and to have some independence. This dream can only be fulfilled when given the chance to pursue my higher education in UK universities.

Note: I don’t know where this goes: I would say that I will feel comfortable with internal students.

Teechr · Answer

My future goal is 1) to get to where I can grow to an international average and excel academically, 2) to have an adequate education pushing me up to the quality scale, 3) to allocate enough resources help continue to my research, 4) to have the chance of sharing different perspective on my major that might not yet have been covered at my home country, and 5) to meet people from other cultures and different countries to level up my personal confidence and to have some independence. This dream can only be fulfilled when given the chance to pursue my higher education in UK universities.

Note: I don’t know where this goes: I would say that I will feel comfortable with internal students.

I don't understand the highlighted text. I think you're still translating directly from another language.

Odessa Dawn · Answer

Hi teechr;

I want to say:

to get to where I can grow to an international average

1= to get to where I can grow (attending a reputable university or anything of it that helps me grow) so that I become a distinguished and a world-renowned clinical and consulting psychologist.

pushing me up to the quality scale

2= to achieve large-scale success

to allocate enough resources help continue to my research

3= a higher degree, have enough resources that can contribute to my field and help my research

internal students

4= typo; it should have been written international

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