Both “her husband” and “his husband” are correct. In English the possessive word (his, her, their) matches the person who has the relationship, not the noun that follows it. A woman married to a man has her husband. A man married to a man has his husband. The word husband does not change anything. This guide explains the rule, shows examples and the mistakes to avoid, and covers gender-neutral options.
Written by Mitch Rankin, CEO and owner of EnglishForward.com since 2018. Last reviewed 10 October 2026.
The rule
A possessive determiner (my, your, his, her, its, our, their) agrees with its antecedent, the person or thing it refers back to.
- Sarah called her husband. Her refers to Sarah, who is female.
- Michael and his husband bought a house. His refers to Michael, who is male.
- Priya showed me her wife’s photo. Her refers to Priya.
The gender of the noun after the pronoun (husband, wife, brother, sister) plays no part. This is different from French or Spanish, where a possessive can change with the noun, or where one form such as son mari or su esposo covers both his and her. Learners from those languages often need to practise this point.
Quick reference
| Who has the spouse | Spouse | Correct phrase | Example |
|---|---|---|---|
| A woman | husband | her husband | Anna called her husband after work. |
| A man | husband | his husband | Tom and his husband travel this weekend. |
| A man | wife | his wife | John greeted his wife at the airport. |
| A woman | wife | her wife | Rachel thanked her wife for the support. |
| A person whose gender is not stated or who uses “they” | spouse | their spouse | Sam loves spending weekends with their spouse. |
Gender-neutral choices
- Their husband / their wife. Use their when the person uses they as a pronoun, or when you are talking about someone whose gender you do not know. Major style guides, including APA and Chicago, now accept singular they.
- Spouse or partner. If you do not know the gender of a person or of their partner, spouse or partner avoids guessing. Example: Each employee may bring their spouse to the dinner.
Common mistakes
1. Choosing the pronoun by the noun. Many learners think husband needs his. It does not.
- Not correct: Sarah lost his husband last year.
- Correct: Sarah lost her husband last year.
2. An unclear antecedent. When two people could be the owner, the reader cannot tell who is meant.
- Unclear: Mary told Jane that her husband was late. (Mary’s or Jane’s?)
- Clear: Mary told Jane, “My husband is late.”
- Clear: Mary told Jane that Jane’s husband was late.
3. Assuming a spouse’s gender. Write her partner or their spouse until you know. Do not assume that a woman’s spouse is a man, or a man’s a woman.
4. Forgetting the difference between her and hers. Her comes before a noun (her husband). Hers stands alone (The ring is hers).
Practice
Choose the correct word. Answers below.
- Maria said that ___ husband works nights. (her / his)
- David and ___ husband are moving to Durban. (his / her)
- Alex took ___ spouse to the party. (their / his)
- James told me that ___ husband, Paul, is a chef. (James is speaking about himself and his own spouse; his / her)
Answers: 1. her. 2. his. 3. their (if Alex uses “they”). 4. his.
Frequently asked questions
Is “his husband” a mistake? No. It is correct when the person who has the husband is male.
Is it “her husband” even when the husband is a man? Yes. Her refers to the woman. Husband names the spouse.
Can I use “their husband” for one person? Yes, when that person uses “they”, or when you are keeping gender open.
What if I do not know the person’s gender? Use their or rewrite with spouse or partner.
One common mistake English learners make is choosing “his” or “her” based on their own gender rather than the gender of the person being referred to. For example, “her husband” means the husband of a woman, while “his husband” means the husband of a man. A useful tip is to remember that the possessive pronoun refers to the person who has the relationship, not the husband himself.
Related guides
- Is Mr or Mrs a prefix or suffix?
- Everyday English grammar rules and common pitfalls (check this link is live before keeping it)
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