{"id":204,"date":"2014-08-14T10:04:05","date_gmt":"2014-08-14T09:04:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wordpress-232648-741634.cloudwaysapps.com\/?p=204"},"modified":"2014-08-14T10:04:05","modified_gmt":"2014-08-14T09:04:05","slug":"paraprosdokians","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/paraprosdokians\/","title":{"rendered":"Paraprosdokians"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A\u00a0paraprosdokian\u00a0<\/strong>is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to re-frame or re-interpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.<\/p>\n\n\n

\n\n\n
  1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.<\/li>
  2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.<\/li>
  3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.<\/li>
  4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.<\/li>
  5. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.<\/li>
  6. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.<\/li>
  7. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.<\/li>
  8. War does not determine who is right – only who is left.<\/li>
  9. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.<\/li>
  10. Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.<\/li>
  11. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.<\/li>
  12. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.<\/li>
  13. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?<\/li>
  14. Some people are like Slinkies … not really good for anything, but you can’t help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.<\/li>
  15. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.<\/li>
  16. I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.<\/li>
  17. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?<\/li>
  18. Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?<\/li>
  19. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.<\/li>
  20. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.<\/li>
  21. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.<\/li>
  22. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!<\/li>
  23. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.<\/li>
  24. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.<\/li>
  25. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.<\/li>
  26. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.<\/li>
  27. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.<\/li>
  28. I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.<\/li>
  29. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.<\/li>
  30. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.<\/li>
  31. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.<\/li>
  32. Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.<\/li>
  33. Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.<\/li>
  34. A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.<\/li>
  35. If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?<\/li>
  36. Change is inevitable, except from<\/g> a vending machine.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n
    \n\n\n

    Mitch Hedberg<\/strong> employed paraprosdokians on a regular basis, see if you can spot them:\n<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    A\u00a0paraprosdokian\u00a0is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":205,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_generate-full-width-content":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[304],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=204"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/204\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/205"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=204"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=204"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.englishforward.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=204"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}